Matt 8-9, Mark 2, John 5

We witness lots of healing by Jesus. All sorts of healing, not just lepers. He even heals Peters mother in law. When he does, she gets up and waits on him. I'm not saying he did it because he was hungry.....
Jesus and his band of merry followers set out in a boat. The seas were angry that day, my friend... But Jesus slept like a baby whilst his followers were tossed about like rag dolls. They finally woke Him and He calmed the seas so that everyone could rest. WHAT a guy to have around.
He does a ton more healing, meets Matthew and talks of old garments and wineskins.
I think Mark 2:23-28 is interesting and worth discussing.
John 5 is all very interesting.
I imagine it would have bean hard for these people to believe that they were standing before the Son of God. I've always wondered, what if someone today said they were The Messiah, what would we do? Would we believe faithfully, and if we questioned would that be wrong of us?
There have bean some, whom we all thought they're nuts. Which, of course, they were.
But what if?
What I'm trying to say is that I can see both sides. Now of course, Jesus was walking around healing people left and right sooooo, that may have bean a HUGE check in the "for" column.
I love John 5:39-44.

John 2-4

I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the readings of the New Testament so far.

Jesus at the Temple

Changing water into wine (my personal favorite)
Being born again.
The woman at the well.
And I do think the old testament was all about avoiding non-Jews, we rarely heard about people converting. Yes, there were a few instances but for the most part is was about them separating themselves from people who were not Jewish, wasn't it?

Anyhoo I am in love with Chapter 3:17-21

Matt. 4, Luke 4-5, and John 1:15-51

I knew the Jesus fish had something to do with being "fishers of men". I knew this because my brother once had it tattooed on his wrist. The Jesus fish with a verse about being fishers of men, that is. But I went looking for a better explanation of the ever popular Jesus fish (insert Seinfeld quote)

I found 2 that pleased me.

A. Most symbols that people use have a story behind them and are used to make a statement. Some of the most famous are the so-called Christian symbols such as the cross and the fish. Whilst they provide a useful mean of identification, all of these are carnal and nowadays used promiscuously by everybody, thus it is best for us to avoid using them. Moreover they all have a precedent story of paganism, a thing we Christian must avoid, even if some says the pagan origins have now been lost in history. The wearing or keeping such symbols has the tendency to bring veneration to them and thus returning to paganism. Besides, what saith the Word of God: God is a spirit, and the ones worshiping Him must worship in spirit and truth. (John 4:24)

Here are some tidbits concerning this ancient symbol:

When threatened by Romans in the first centuries after Christ, Christians used the fish mark meeting places and tombs, or to distinguish friends from foes. According to one ancient story, when a Christian met a stranger in the road, the Christian sometimes drew one arc of the simple fish outline in the dirt. If the stranger drew the other arc, both believers knew they were in good company.

Greeks, Romans, and many other pagans used the fish symbol before Christians. Hence the fish, unlike, say, the cross, attracted little suspicion, making it a perfect secret symbol for persecuted believers. So the early Christians made practical use of this symbol for practical convenience. It is somewhat similar to the use in our days of bumper-sticker and business-card practice to be recognised by strangers, although we are not yet under persecution.

As early as the first century, Christians made an acrostic from this word: Iesous Christos Theou Yios Soter, (ICTYS) i.e. Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, using the Greek word for fish "ichthys." The Greek word Ichthus (Iota Chi Theta Upsilon Sigma), pronounced ich-thoos, upper case: and lower case: , is the word used throughout the New Testament for the English word fish.

The fish has plenty of other theological overtones as well, for Christ fed the 5,000 with 2 fishes and 5 loaves (a meal recapitulated in Christian love-feasts) and called his disciples "fishers of men." So that was an easy association: "fishers of men" and the acronym for the word fish in Greek, and thus the symbol resembling a fish.

B. The use of the Ichthys symbol by early Christians appears to date from the end of the 1st century AD. Ichthus (ΙΧΘΥΣ, Greek for fish) is an acronym, a word formed from the first letters of several words. It compiles to "Jesus Christ God's Son Saviour", in ancient Greek "Ἰησοῦς Χριστός, Θεοῦ Υἱός, Σωτήρ"

* Iota is the first letter of Iesous (Ἰησοῦς), Greek for Jesus.
* Chi is the first letter of Christos (Χριστóς), Greek for "anointed".
* Theta is the first letter of Theou (Θεοῦ), that means "of God", genitive case of Θεóς "God".
* Upsilon is the first letter of Huios (Υἱός), Greek for Son.
* Sigma is the first letter of Soter (Σωτήρ), Greek for Saviour.

Historically, twentieth century use of the ichthys motif is an adaptation based on an Early Christian symbol which included a small cross for the eye or the Greek letters "ΙΧΘΥΣ". Catholic theology has elaborated on the five words of the acronym into the "Jesus prayer", or, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."


And now to today's readings.... There's a lot in today's readings. Its jam packed with good stuff, and by jam I mean of coarse , strawberry. First Jesus is eating and drinking with sinners (tax collectors, including Matthew), when the big wig Pharisees see this they are appalled. Judaism we must remember is alllll about avoiding sinners at all costs. Jesus replies that, it is the sick that need help, not the healthy. AH HA. This is already looking a little different....like a new garment or new wine, one might say......and by One I mean Jesus.

He shares a couple of parables with these people. Through these stories he basically says. "this is new, it's all new. Out with the old, you cant mix the old with the new....it doesn't work. The new is where its at! oh, I know you like the old....who doesn't like the old? We find comfort in the old....but the old isn't really working. The old is familiar, the new is scary. The old is warm and comfortable, like a soft worn in sackcloth, the new is like a camel hair sheath which is terribly itchy."

Jesus also has a little run in with Satan.

Matt 3, Mark 1, Luke 3

Jesus is all grown up. John baptizes him and the heavens open up and proclaim that He is indeed the Son of God.
Jesus gathers up a few fishermen and promises that if they leave their nets, they shall be fishers of men.
We also see Jesus cure a leper and a fever. He asks that the cured leper (not to be confused with cured ham) speak nothing of it, but he doesn't listen. Now Jesus has the leper poparazii to deal with.
There is also, at the end of Luke 3, a blood line from Jesus back to Adam.

John 1:1-14, Matt 2, Luke 2:39-52

I've two questions.
A. How did the 3 wise men, astologers this version calls them, become the 3 Kings? Nothing says anything about them being kings?
B. Did Jesus know who he was? (Don't ruin it for me if its something I will find out later)

Luke 1-2:38

we begin with not with Jesus, but with John...you know, the Baptist?
His dad was Zachariah and his wife Elizabeth (my daughters middle name). They were old and had no children. An angel came and said that they would have a son, to be name John. He would "prepare ye the way of the Lord" (Godspell reference...there will probably be a lot of these in thy future btw. For the unlearned (which does not include Jamie, as he has bean schooled) Godspell is a musical based on the Gospel of Matthew. I realize this isn't Matthew, however the opening number "Prepare ye the way of the Lord" I believe is sung by the "John the Baptist" character. I also realize that this is WAY more musical theater trivia than any non theater go-er wants to know.) Did I digress?
I have a Christmas concussion, I am excused from making since.
John was to make ready for the Lord a people prepared in spirit, adjusted and disposed and placed, in the right moral state.
Because Zach questioned Gabe, the Angel he was made mute until the child was born.
Then the angel visited Mary and yadda yadda yadda....she was great with child.
John was born and Zach got his voice back.
The bar was set pretty high for John he was expected to:
go on before the face of the Lord to make ready His ways
Bring and give knowledge of salvation to His people in the forgiveness and remission of their sins
Shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death
Direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace
That's one heck of a to do list, my friends.
AND THEN in chapter 2, The Prince of Peace makes His Earthly Appearance!
I love 2:19, I find some comfort in Mary keeping within herself all these things, weighing and pondering them in her heart.
And yes I do realize I find comfort in odd, unexplained places.
I just think it shows how human she was. Can you imagine, when looking down at your first born little tiny baby, knowing that he was destined for such things?
I just know that when my first was born it was as if the world suddenly came into focus. The first time I looked at her, I seemed to understand it all... everything.
I immediately understood things like curfew and calling when you arrive after a trip and needing to know where and when, and why and for how long. In a second I felt the unimaginable weight of a mothers love. And that was just my Zoe.
Mary had ALL of that, plus the worlds weight to bear....
That's why I love that passage.
Merry Christmas everyone.

Malachi

Here we are, at the end of the Old Testament. You know what I'm finding strange, and I've told Jamie this before...when I tell people that I am reading the Bible and blogging, I am floored at how many "Christians" tell me that they haven't read it.
Really!?
I say to myself.
I just don't get how you can give yourself fully to something without knowing all you can about it. For that matter, anyone who has an opinion of any kind about Christianity. How can one say anything for or against it, if one is not educated on the subject?
To each his own, however...
On to Malachi (which, also shared with Jamie, conjures up images of freaky children in corn fields)...
Basically God is just saying "I haven't changed. What I thought bad in Moses day, I find bad now. What I expected then, I expect now..."
And I love the idea of being someones "jewel, or peculiar treasure", but especially a peculiar treasure!

Psalm 126

When the Lord brought back the captives [who returned] to Zion,we were like those who dream [it seemed so unreal]
Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then they said among the nations, The Lord had done great things for them.
The Lord had done great things for us! We are glad!
Turn to freedom our captivity and restore our fortunes, O Lord, as the streams in the South (the Negeb) [are restored by the torrents].
They who sow in tears shall rep in joy and singing.
He who goes forth bearing seed and weeping [at needing his precious supply of grain for sowing] shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheves with him.

That was a good one to end with, I think.

Matthew 1

So we finally made it. Here we are at the New Testament. I am very excited and I have very high hopes.
We begin with the blood line of Jesus.
...and end with an explanation as to why Joseph stays with his wife after she has become pregnant...

Nehemiah 10-13

Lots of housekeeping business. All the same things they used to do, back in Moses day. Nehemiah goes through and cleans up the riff raff. He reminds people of the things that they have done which have brought nothing but bad to them.
Do this...bad will continue to happen
Butt, do this.....and good will come to you.

Nehemiah six thru nine

A. LOVE the name Sanballet! Wow thats a great name.
B. I don't really have a B.
Sanballet was not a good guy, he and his pals were trying to sabotage the work that Nehe and co. were doing.
Nehemiah prevailed and the wall and gates were finished. Everyone gathered together and Ezra read from the Book of Moses and people wept. But the Levites said Be still......this is a great day, do not cry.
Love how Be is capitalized.
Then in Chapter 9 we get another review....

Lamentations 3:37-5:22

I don't know, these lamentations are a real downer. Its like proverbs on a depressant. But I guess a lamentation, or a lament means to grieve so whatda I expect? right.
I do like 3:39 however

Nehemiah 1-5

Nehemiah reminds us of what God said to Moses and then makes the journey to Jerusalem.
His mission: rebuild the walls.
Then we have a list of who did what in regards to the rebuilding of the walls and gate. (Poor Malchijah)
No one had much faith in the job that Nehe and his gang were doing. And when they heard that all was actually going well....well they didn't like that either
So they plotted to cause mischief.
Nehemiah finds out what they are planning and basically just handles it. He does the same thing when he finds out that the people are starving because their government is taxing the food out of their mouths.
He handles it.
Nehemiah is like the ultimate voice of reason. He sees a problem and deals.
You have to love that.

Ezra 7-10

We finally meet Ezra here in chapter 7, and guess what?! He was a writer. Ah ha.
Ezra, with protection from God takes a crew of folks and heads to Jerusalem.
When they get there is bad news awaiting. All the people who have bean living there have married whomever they pleased be it Canaanite, Hittite, Perizzite, Jubsite and any other ite they wanted. The seeds have a bean contaminated.
Not good folks, not good atall.
Ezra freaked out, to put it mildly. And in turn the men freaked out.they collectively decided in order to avoid the cup o' wrath, they would exile all the wives and children of mixed birth.

Esther 4-10

Ok so I was suppose to read 1-5 and 6-10 but I wasn't paying attention so here I shall make up for it.
Mortie and his fellow Jews are weeping and wailing in the streets, clothed in sack cloths and ashes.
The queen hears this and send him clothes which he refuses.
Esther wants to know what's up and orders her man to get the skinny. He does and she agrees to speak to the king about perchance NOT killing all her people.
She has a dinner and by and by...at the very last minute the whole scam was discovered! And Haman, the very man who orchestrated the hanging, was hung on the very gallows he had built!
It gets even better. Mortie is made top dog and the Jews are given major authority. On the very day they were to be massacred they are given an edict that gave them power over their enemies.
What?!
I know!? Right?!
The Jews did some smoting and some smiting to all who hated them, and then they made it a holiday of thanksgiving.
The end.

Esther 1-3

Ok, so when I took the facebook quiz (which we all know are VERY accurate and true to life) entitled "Which book of the Bible are you" I was Esther. Therefore, I am most excited to read this book.
Right away I know this is my type of book. The opening scene is a grand party. Beautifully decorated, fine stem ware, a seven day feast, and eunuches...
But it goes down hill fast. The queen is ordered to come before the king so that he may show off her beauty. She, however, doest not come.
What?!
How dare she!?
This doest not sit well with thy king, soon woman will be doing whatever they please.
So he orders a divorce and a decree saying that every man shall rule his own house (king of the castle, lord of the manor).
The kings toadies suggest that he get himself a hot young trophy virgin for a wife instead.
Good idea, thought the king and he orders that the hottest young virgins be rounded up and he would choose one.
So they were. They wouldn't see the king however, for 12 months because they had to be purified and it took THAT long.
Crazy eh!?
6 months with oil of myrrh and 6 months with sweet spices and perfumes. And then they were ready, among them was Esther.
As one might guess, Esther being the name of the book and all, she was his pick.
Esther was raised by Mordecai some relative of hers. Mordecai manages to anger the wrong people. These people decide that since Mordecai is a Jew that instead of just killing him, how's about they kill all the Jews. So they speak with the king and convince him that the Jews are a bad lot. He orders that every single Jew, be them man, woman or child be killed.
Here's the twist....although we haven't gotten to it yet, I bet is darling Esther is Jewish because she was raised by Mordecai. No one knows that however.
See were this is going people!?
Can't wait to read tomorrow!

Zeck 8-14

Ok more slowly this time...
God is coming home to Jerusalem.
...joy and gladness and cheerful appointed seasons;therefore love truth and peace.
9:7, great image
Love the imagery of 9:13
I love how grain will make the young men thrive and fresh wine the maidens. The maidens finally get the better deal.
I like the bit about the false prophets in 13. I don't like false prophets.
I guess everyone mended their ways in Jerusalem because God seems to really be a fan.
He's sending a terrible plague to the enemies of Jerusalem, humans and beasts alike.
He will protect anyone and everyone who comes to worship.
Everything really seems to be turning around.

Zech 1-7

This book starts as most prophet books start, with a chat with either the big guy himself or an angel. Zech first get his words directly from God, then he gets an angel. The angel wants to do some measuring? OK? and then I'm not sure, butt I think Santa shows up for a minute in chapter 2. I could be wrong though.
Not completely following whats going on, butt I do know Satan makes an appearance and we haven't really heard directly from him since Job.
Zech keeps seeing visions and when he asks his host angel what they are, he always asks "do you not know what these are?" and Zech says "no I don't". He then explains what they are. The smart wild ass in me wants him to say "if I knew what they were, why in the Sam Hill would I have asked!".
A flying scroll and women in jars.....this book may be stranger than Ezekiel.
They are still trying to get the temple built and God is threatening to scatter the peeps into the wind.
Very hard story to follow, thus far...

Haggai

All I ask, says God, is for a little home to call my own. Do this and all the bad stuff will cease.
God sends this word through Haggai (pronounced hagis, in my head). He's like, "do you people notice how crappy your lives have become? I mean, yes you have enough to keep you alive, but you're never satisfied! See the connection?, build me my dream home!!"
Of course what this all means is He wants to be put first in peoples lives. Don't enjoy that fine paneled house until He has His.

Ezra 4-6

Bureaucracy and ancient red tape.

Ezra 1-3

Ezra Pound, Ezra Jack Keats, Better than Ezra....Ezra is a common name in the world of the arts. So let see why...

Cyrus the king of Persia is building a new temple in Jerusalem. He's gathered all the stuff that was taken and is ready to work.

Then we have a homecoming and a census all rolled into one. These people bring in all the old school Moses stuff, so that seems like a positive. Then as they are laying the foundation for the new temple all the young people were shouting with joy and excitement. The old folks who had seem Solomon's temple wept. The weeping and the shouting got all mixed up and was apparently heard far of.

Daniel 10-12

Daniel is meets an angel on the banks of the Tigris. He has more geopolitical prophecies to tell.

Daniel gets all sorts of information, way too much for me to summarize here.

THIS is the way to end a book! I think this may be my favorite ending thus far.

Daniel 7-9

Lots of dreams and prophesies and he-goats and horns. (Oh my)
Daniel dreams about the downfall of the Roman empire and the coming of Christ. He speaks to God about ALLL the wrongs the people have done. I find this talk with God to be different than other prophets talks with the big guy. Daniel says "we have sinned, we have done wickedly....". It seems like the other guys all spoke TO the people with words like "YOU have sinned, YOU have done wickedly..." I could be wrong, butt it just strikes me as different.

Daniel 4-6

The kings dream is told, interpreted and he kicks the can. He son takes over and immediately starts to worship some strange gods. Because of this a giant hand comes in and writes on the wall for all to see. Then the color and the drunken hilarious brightness of the kings face was changed, and his thoughts troubled and alarmed him...
Can anyone say "buzz kill".
He called in the usual suspects and asked them to interpret the writing. Butt the couldn't.
Surprise.
But guess who could?
Joseph?
Nope, he's dead.
Daniel does this sorta work too, remember.
Daniel comes in and the kings says " but I have heard of you, that you can make interpretations and solve knotty problems"
Knotty problems?
And if you can solve this here knotty problem, I'll give you a purple dress and some bling. Daniel does his job and is rewarded. The king is slain in the night and on old fella named Darius takes over.
Nd now on to the lions...
The new kind made a degree that basically, for all intents and purposes said that no one may pray for 30 days. And if they do, they shall be cast into a lions den. And of course Daniel did his 3 a day praying.
Into the den he is a tossed. And in the morning, there he was hangin with the lions. The king was amazed and had all of Daniels accusers, their wives and children sent to the den and the lions gobbled them up. I wonder if they tell that part of the story in all the cute childrens books about Daniel and the lions?
The king tells everyone they must tremble in the sight of Daniels God...
We are back on track....how long shall it last this time?

Daniel 1-3

Neb has taken over. He decides that he want to adopt some young boys. He has the leader of the eunuchs bring him some (I love when the eunuchs get involved) that he can have educated? Daniel and his 3 buddies are the chosen ones. They move into the palace and the education begins with a feast of rich food.
Daniel decides he shan't defile himself with the kings gross-o food, and asks that he may have a veggie diet, yeah Daniel. And guess what? The veggies made them big and strong. This should be the lesson we learn from Daniel.
Then the king has a dream that he wants interpreted, so he calls as the sorcerers and the like in to tell him what it means, and if they can't he gonna kill em, hows that for pressure?! Can they? No. But guess who can?
Joseph?
Nope cause hes dead....
Daniel?
Yep. God came in and told him what the dream was AND what it meant.
So Daniel saved the day for himself and all the wise men that the king was going to have axed.
Of course the dream was about the kings empire taking a fall and another one rising up.....
Maybe because he was so happy to have his dream interpreted or maybe in an effort to not have it come true, the king had a giant golden statue made. He then ordered that everyone who sees it, shall bow down before it. Daniel and his cronies refuse and sentenced to a fiery demise. The fire is lite and the boys tossed in. But they don't burn? They just sorta hang out in the fire and talk and play games and toss around the ole pigskin....
This freaks Neb out (as one might imagine) so he orders everyone to worship their God or be cut to pieces. I guess that's one way to convert the masses?
Oh yeah....and they boys get a promotion to boot.

The Book O' Joel

Locust, locust, and more locust. Give God some glory or he shall send the insects.

E the end

That was the worst ending of any book so far. Couldn't we get a proverb or something?

E 44-45

More rules. How to clean yourself if you happen to find yourself hanging with a dead body, what to eat and when, and how to divide land.
Also, what to bring to each party. Apparently someone is bringing New Moon, which is one of my favorite winter beers.
So that's good.

E 44-45

More rules. How to clean yourself if you happen to find yourself hanging with a dead body, what to eat and when, and how to divide land.
Also, what to bring to each party. Apparently someone is bringing New Moon, which is one of my favorite winter beers.
So that's good.

E 42-43

More building and some laws about how things are to be run. Then we get vintage Old Testament "preparing the alter" fun. Blood shall be splattered and rubbed and entrails burned, just like the old days.

E 40-41

Its hgtv, the Biblical version part 2.
This time is our dear prophet E, working side by side with a bronze angel. They are building another Holy of Holies. So now is this THE holy of ALL holies now? Not the last one they built. And conversely, will this one seize to be THE holy of holies when and if another one is built?

E 38-39

Gomer and all his hordes....great band name.

There shall be a war, and we're all invited.
So much for being nice and making changes for Israel.
God has a better plan, a plan involving Gog. His new plan is just to deliver all of Israel into the hands of their enemy and start from scratch.
The plan goes as follows, first help Gog to obliterate Israel, then obliterate Gog for obliterating Israel.
So who wins, you may ask?
The animals. They get a hell of a feast of flesh and blood..... or so goes God promise to them.

E 35-37

Down with Seir (in Edom).

So in chapter 36, God decides that the people of Israel are making him look bad. So hes going to do what he should have done all along.......make get inside and clean everyone up. He's going to sprinkle with water , give new spirits, out with the stoney hearts and in with the fleshy ones, take away famine, help everyone to remember how rotten they were so they will loath themselves.......

That'll show the bad guys, thinks God.

Then it gets C-R-A-Z-Y. As a slightly over the top dramatic effect symbolizing the rebirth of Israel, G and E bring the dead back to life.

God has E do some magical thing with these sticks that is to symbolize the joining of Israel and Judah. But God knows its a stretch. He knows no one will get it and he says to E " And when your people say to you, Will you not show us what you mean by these?"........ and He tells him what to say.
That cracks me up for some reason and makes me think of "Why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you want to see"

I wonder is the people will come around after god does all this for them?

E 32-34

God sends E to Pharaoh with another lamentation. Oh yes, you read that right..ANOTHER lamentation. It basically says, "you think you are a lion, butt you are actually a sea dragon, and I'm going to kill you."
Then its on to the captives of Babylon. To them he sends a warning. God says that he may warn them when the sword comes at Babylon and if they don't take cover then, its there own damn fault.
BUTT if they don't get warning from the watchman, then its the watchmans fault and his blood shall be claimed.
I think that's fair.
The whole thing about warning the wicked or be held responsible is a total re-run. We've read this from another prophet, just a few books back.
Chapter 34 is a shout-out to the spiritual shepards in the crowd. Get those sheep in line! Stop worrying about yourselves and take care of the flocks.
"Now that I think about it" says God, "I'm just taking over this entire operation."
So God will find the lost sheep, feed and water the young.

E 28-31

So the prince of Tyre as bean fancying himself as God and God calls him out on it. "You think you are God? Handle this, big guy...." Says God. And he brings forth strangers. God then has E take up a lamentation (low blow big G).
Tyre was good, then went bad, is the gist of it.
Then its Sidon's turn (wasn't Sidon a place in Lord of the Rings?)
For Sidon...pestilence.
Next on the chopping block is Egypt.
For Egypt...the sword.
God tells Pharaoh plain and simply, I am against you, I made the Nile, it is mine, and I want it back....please and thank you. Then he breaks his arms and scatters his people.
And finally a tale. Pharaoh is a once fine tree, now a pile of broken and ruined sticks...

Ez 24-27

Another parable in which E plays a chef to God's recipe for vengeance against Judah. Jerusalem plays the pot....the pot which like a good cast iron piece, grows scummy and rusty if not carefully seasoned and taken care of.

And then God kills E's wife and forbids him to morn? And this is because?

On to the death of Tyre. It sounds like a really loverly place. In Chapter 27, we get a detailed description of the place, the likes of which I don't think we've gotten before.....about any place.

E 22-23

God tells man that he's brought all of this on himself. He's no one to blame. Tis is doing.
He gives a laundry list of wrongs that just princes themselves have done. Included in this list is some pretty freaky sexual issues. These people had quite the sex drive I can tell you that. We tend to blame the oversexness of our society on the extreme amounts of sexual images we a faced with daily; I'm beginning to wonder if that has much to do with it.
Then we get another tale of....you guessed it, HARLOTS.
In todays performance Aholah the elder will be playing the harlot Samaria and Aholibah her sister will be portraying the harlot Jerusalem.
This is a tale of a jealous lover (played by God) who must witness the lewd and frankly perverse behavior of his two wives.
I think it was a brilliant move by the Play Write (God) to tell this tale through the eyes of a jealous lover. What better way for someone to truly feel the anger, the betrayal, the rage than through the eyes of a lover scorn.
Bravo, God...Bravo.

E 20-21

God has E talk to the elders and explain what's gone wrong. He explains his side of the situation...Egypt, the Wilderness, the milk, the honey...the idol worship, the harlotry. Its all here. He tells them to go ahead and worship thy idols, but keep his name out of it.
Then chapter 21 made little, to no sense to me. I'm sure, however that its about the death of Israel.

E 18-19

Well I did it A GAIN!! I wrote an entire post and then hit the wrong button on my phone (bean blogging from my blackberry as it is always handy) and caaaput. The enter button and the back a page button are both little bendy arrows and so I confuse them.
So A GAIN here's my reading in a nutshell (pecan)
A. Don't go near woman whom are on their period or God will kill you.
B. God doesn't like being mean, he'd rather you just mend thy evail ways.
C.Proverb about lions.

E 16-17

Israel is a horrible, harlot of a wife. Chapter 16 is a big huge long metaphor of Israels rise and fall as a great nation. She plays the part of harlot wife to Gods gracious husband.
In the end he forgives her and takes her back, under one condition. She must never open her big mouth again.
Then God feels like these people are ready for a riddle. I want to go on the record as saying that I don't feel like they are ready for a riddle.
He feels they are and He's the boss so E delivers the riddle. We aren't even given the chance to figure it out as the book presumes we need (help).
Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE a riddle nd refuse to be told the answer until I am given at least a few days to think about it. I am currently the undisputed laffy taffy riddle champion of...? Um...all the world? Yes! All the world.
I digress, the riddle is all about the end of Israel. Surprise, surprise.

E 13-15

Chapter 13 is all about the false prophets. If there is anything that God hates worse than an idol, its a false prophet. Remember how much he used to hate the unleaded bread....those were the good ole days when all we had to worry about was yeast.

Things are so bad at this point that God even has a few things to say about his boys, Noah, Daniel, and Job. He claims that while, indeed, they would be saved....their family wouldn't have bean. Wow folks, times they are a changin.

E 9-12

I forgot to mention how much I love Ezekiel bread, yumm-o. And I found a picture of the weirdness of the first few chapters...Back to the story of E.... Here's what we're going to do, says God...The temples have bean defiled therefore anyone whom cries out in anguish shall receive a mark on his/her head....they shall be saved. Anyone who doesn't shall die. This includes the elderly, the babies (how shall they know to be sad and feel anguish?) the virgins....anyone without a mark.

Isn't it funny (strange not haha) that a mark is a good thing, both here and in Egypt. In both cases you wanted the mark, you were marked not for death, but for life.

Then we have the return of the pimped out cherubim chariot. And then MORE descriptions of the wheels! The wheels have a very big role in this book, it has to mean something....why so much wheel talk?! Wheels within wheels...then I think they are describing spinners, but I'm not sure.....seriously for like 9 vs we read about the wheels.

E tries to show the people that God is going to scatter them throughout the world, by packing luggage and pretending to leave. I'm not sure anyone got the connection. These people don't need any more prophesy or proverbs, they obviously don't get it.

They need actions.

E 5-8

E's to get a haircut. He's to divide that hair by 3. He's to burn a third. Strike a third with a sword and throw a third into the wind.
Also take a few of those and sew them into your skirt and the rest you shall burn...
This is one DARK book, black. God is m a d.
As E's hair was divided and destroyed so will the people of Jerusalem be.
Seriously, dark. Dead bodies, scattered bones, pestilence....lots of pestilence. Hunger, wild beasts, blood, swords.
The cup o wrath is never ending it would seem.
7:9 is intense to put it mildly.
Then they (God and E) go on a sort of Eb.Scrooge type of trip to see all of the horrible things people do when they think no one is watching. Alas we see, Someone is always watching.

Ezekiel 1-4

Ok so Ezekiel starts off a little freaky, I adore freaky so I'm diggin it.
An appearance of 4 creatures, out of fire. They looked like men, but with 4 faces each as well as four wings. They had regular straight legs, but the foot of a calf.
And they were sparkley.
They had arms.
The front of their face was that of a man, the right side of the head however, was a lion. The left an ox, and the back was an eagle.
According to the notes, these are the ways Jesus is described by matthew, mark, e luke.
Then we get the wheel. These wheels follow around these creatures.
You read that right.
Wheels.
When they move the wheels move.
When they rise up, the wheels rise up.
It says that the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheel.
Then God appears in a big blue chair hovering over ice in a flame. There was a rainbow and I think a unicorn was pulling him. (That I my have added for dramatic effect....or did I?)
And now HE speaks...

He tells E all about the terrible rebellious people that he must straighten up. "Let's see if they listen to you...for good measure I want you to eat this book.
No dummy not figuratively! Literally. I've bean told it tastes like honey, I'm working on chicken but every time it comes out as honey? "
God gives a great pep talk to E and sends him on his way.
He sits for awhile, overwhelmed. Which I find refreshing. It is overwhelming, take that in, I say. Take a moment to understand what's been asked of you. Gather your thoughts and plans.
After his 7 days of thought. God returned.
He returned with some even stranger ideas in his bag o tricks.
He's got all sorts of ideas for E. Even cooking with poop. I love this book.

Jere 51-52

This is it, the end of the road for Babylon.
Jeremiah writes it all down for Seraiah to read and then cast away, when he come to Babylon.
In comes Nebuchadrezzar to destroy everything in Jerusalem. He crumbles the pillars and robs the churches. He takes some of the poor that were left last time. Leaves the poorest of those guys however. So if you're left you are supa po.
In the end the king allows the king of Judah out of jail. He even allows his to hang out with him a bit.
And that's the end of Jeremiah. I felt it started strong and ended sorta weak.

Lamentations 1- 3:36

Here Jeremiah laments for Jerusalem as well as all the other desolate places. He doesn't do a lot of "why?! Why?! Why?!s" though the "why's" are clear.
He does ask that all the foes of Jerusalem, who are LOVING the destruction of zee Lord, be brought down as well.
The cup o' wrath is piping hot and ready to go.
"The Lord has become like an enemy"
I like 2:13
Do you think Jere feels like a failure? He wasn't able to really get anyone to listen? Is that what chapter 3 is about?
I know jamie hearts 3:25-26 and really most of the rest of the reading. How many times have I heard this in the year since I've known him?!
Mucho.

Jer. 49-50

More and more anger.
Edom.....gone, Damascus..... feeble, Kedar, destroyed, Hazor.....jackal haven, Elam......dismayed and terrified.
However, the best is saved or Babylon. Chapter50 is basically 46 verses of Babylonian smack down.

Jere 46-48

So, I wrote one entry and then hit the wrong button on my phone aannnnddddd erased it. So I shall hit the high points.
A. Is Pharoh Necho the inventor of the so named wafer?
B. Chapter 46 is a liberal display of exclamation points. C. Moab is sacked.

Jeremiah 41-45

Ishmael is a slewin son of a gun. He slews so many that the bodies fill a cistern. There are so many people in this first chapter. I had to red it a few times to get it all straight.
With all this talk of Ishmael, is anyone else craving a fish dinner?
Jeremiah meets with the few people who haven't been slewn, smote, captures or burned. They ask that he speak to God on their behalf. He agrees (cuz that's just the kinda guy he is). They promised to listen to what he had to say, no matter what. You just know Jeremiah thought this was a breath of fresh air.
God tells them that if they stay, He shall take care of them. He even says that He will take off his white wig...
And then guess what?! Surprise, Surprise, some people didn't believe him.
He says, don't go to Egypt...they go to Egypt.
And so Egypt is gonna get it too! This is no God's turning his back stuff going on here. This is God is destroying and delivering peeps into evil. What he has built, he will break down....what he has planted, he will pluck up...

Habakkuk

I love these old icon paintings. This is one I found of Habakkuk.

As I started reading this book it sounded a bit like David's psalms. "O Lord, how long shall I cry for help and you not hear me..." Very Davidian.

Love this line " For the maker trusts in his own creation (as his gods) when he makes dumb idols" Adore the use of the word dumb here.

Also enjoy that the prayer of Habakkuk is set to wild , enthusiastic, and triumphal music. I'm really digging this book thus far.

"The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering or responsibility]!

I think that's a nice prayer. I mean, what more could a person ask for in a God?

2 King 24-25 2 Chron 36

A re telling of Nebuchadnezzar's taking of Judah. He took everyone captive but the poorest of zee
land.
Then we have to red of the total destruction of the city of Jerusalem. And then lots of smoteing.
2 Chron 36:23? Where'd this guy come from?

Jer 38-40 Ps 74,79

I just wonder how many people listened to Jeremiah just in case. I think I would have. If someone came to Monroe and just kept on and an about swords and pestilence but said if I left I'd be ok...I think maybe I'd take a small leave of absence.
A gain Jeremiah is thrown into a dungeon where he is fast sinking into mud and is sure to die. But alas he is saved. He is saved by duh duh duh..."Ebed-melech the Eunuch" This guy has "you know what" to go to the king and tell him of Jeremiah's state.
The king commands that he be rescued.
Once rescued the king asks (ONCE A GAIN) Jeremiah to tell him what God has in store.
And I simply adore Jeremiah's response. He's like "really!? You do realize if you don't like what I say, your just going to have me put to death right. And I'm pretty sure that either way you will not listen to me. I mean...really! We've bean through this how many times!?"
However the king promised (in secret) to not have him put to death.
So Jer spilled the beans again.
And he didn't listen again and was taken by the Babylonians.
Jeremiah was given a choice as to where he wanted to live. He chose to stay in Judah.

Jeremiah 35-37

God sends Jeremiah on another errand. He is to go to house of the Rechabites and bring them to church and have them drink wine. These are STRICT no wine drinkers, by the way. They tell him that they are strict no wine drinkers, as a matter of fact they don't have a vineyard or even a house. They are tent livers and no wine drinkers from WAYYYY back. (are these peeps some type of nazarites?)
Then the story goes in a completely different direction than I though. God goes on and on about how this family have obeyed the commands of their fathers but not the commands of God. So I thought He was gonna let then have it, but he doesn't. He says that because they have listened to their forefathers then they shall never fail to have a descendant stand before Him.
Obey your parents, children.
Next on Jeremiah's mother of all honey-do lists is to write a book. I think God thinks that maybe if its actually written down, these people will listen. A last ditch effort?
Well it didn't work quite as planned. The king burned the scrolls, and Jer rewrote them and the king burned them.....
Then it's back to prison for our friend. And yet the king keeps asking him for advice. I'm not sure if the king thought that the tales would change or what? Why does he KEEP asking and then not following?

Jer 32-34

We open with our dear friend (if you were friends with a deer, would you say "my dear deer friend" or just "my deer friend",which would cover both bases if someone heard it, not red it. However, people wouldn't know that your friend was a deer. You would def have to specify that your dear friend was a deer or that your deer friend was dear to you.)
Jeremiah is in the pokey. That is, he has bean cuffed and stuffed.
Then God gets involved in some land purchasing, He's a real estate agent as well apparently.
David shall never fail to have a descendant on the throne and the Levitical(love the way that word feels to say) priests shall not fail to have a descendant to burn stuff.
Then I'm not sure what He's saying about that? Is he saying that He will break that covenant? 33:21
Zedekiah is told that he shall die, but a peaceful death it shall be.
God wants the Hebrew slaves to be set free.
So they do as they are told and set them free.
Then they do as they want and bring them back to be slaves?
I wonder how long it was betwixt the freeing and the re enslaving?
LOVE how the eunuchs are always included.
So Gods not to happy and I feel like Zedekiahs peaceful death just got tossed out zee window.

Jer 30-31

30:6? Odd?
God will devour the ones who devour you. He will restore you to health. He will multiply the merry makers.
If you people will just start behaving.

Jer 26-29

God has Jeremiah go to the temple nd speak to the people there. His hope being, they will listen and change their ways and help to change the ways of the others.
If so, He will relent.
Jeremiah did as God wanted and after he said his peace, they captured him and threatened to kill him.
I can't help wondering what would happen if God sent us a prophet like Jeremiah today. Wouldn't we do the same? How would you differentiate between a loony toon and a real prophet?
The princes, though, kinda realize they better not kill him. To be on the safe side. They remember all the other prophets in the past who we true men of God.
So that's good.
In 27:15 God talks about the false prophets again. He says that they are prophesying falsely in MY name. Not in the name of some other god. THIS is what I was talking about in the last reading when I compared them to the tv preachers. (Not all of them)Hananiah the prophet was also falsely prophesying in the name of God.

Jeremiah 23- 25

23:14 reminds me again of the tv preachers. (Not all of them). It actually goes on and on to talk about the false prophets.
And here God says something that I always think(23:24). These people claim to believe so firmly in the garbage they spew. And they KNOW they are lying. Do they not think that the God they are talking about, is watching with disbelief?
OR do they not really believe anything they are saying?
OR have they convinced themselves that the voice in their heads, telling them to take the old peoples money, is really God?
OR is it hot in here OR are they crazy?
Another field trip for dear Jeremiah. This time to look at some good and bad figs. Good figs, good. Bad figs, bad.
The Big Guy has a plan. He's going to get all the kings so drunk that they vomit. Then kill em. He's killing a bunch of people on the earth.
"Who's gonna bury them all?" you may ask.
No one, their dead bodies shall be dung upon the ground.

Jer 18-21

God loves the potter metaphor. This time when he uses it, he actually has Jeremiah go and look at a potter working at his wheel. Its like a little field trip for him. To make the learning more concrete.
Jeremiah is told to get a potter's earthen bottle. Take some old people and elderly priests and.... break the bottle!
19:9 is a bit freaky
We finally get a little action. Pshhur, who was the son of a priest heard Jer saying all this stuff and beat him up. Then he puts him in the stocks.
When he was let out, did he keep quiet? No. He went right back to his ranting.
He's getting p-retty dark toward the end of 20.

Jer 14-17

Lots of talk to begin with about false prophets. These people bother me today as well. The tv preachers who ask for money, these people I can't figure out.
14:14
I think this is strangely cool "Your words were found and I ate them"
Like 15:17 too for some reason.
This idol stuff is SERIOUS! God really and truly hates idols and by hate, I mean he HATES them.
I mean seriously, "can a man make gods for himself? Such are not gods"
Then at the end of the reading, we get a little old school God. A review lesson about not working on the Sabbath.

Jeremiah 10-13

O lord, correct, instruct,and chastise me, but with judgment and in just measure- not in Your anger, lest You diminish me and bring me to nothing.
We were once thought so highly of as to be called a green olive tree, not so much anymore. He's burning that tree down.
"You are near in their mouths but far from their hearts"....LOVE that!
God has chooses to demonstrate a lesson in a very strange way. He has Jeremiah buy a girdle, wear it, then hide it, then find it spoiled and decayed.
This, says God is what I will do to the pride of Judah and Jerusalem.
So, that was a weird lesson I think.
Then He's going to get them all drunk and dash them against one another.
Then, He ends a gain with "really?!

Jeremiah 7-9

God lays down some pretty simple guidelines, be nice to strangers,the fatherless, the widows, don't kill innocent people, and don't go after other gods. I mean, I think that's pretty do-able.
Then its just more of the same we've gotten from the other prophets. God speaks his peace. I've done this and I've done that, and you've done what you want, when you want.
He is speaking of the people who may have a curcumcised body part, but it isn't their heart.
Their heart remains uncircumcised.

Jeremiah 4-6

God is telling these people if they will just listen and do as he says all will be alright.
Apparently they AREN'T going to listen. I know this, you know this, I feel like Jeremiah knows this. The only person who doesn't seem to know this is God himself.
Is He just a hopeless romantic? Has He been blinded by love? Is He caught up in the emotions?
He's in a bad relationship. The kind where everyone around you knows its over. You know deep down somewhere that its over, but you continue to grasp.
"Remember that one time when she girded her loins for Me? She does really love Me.And what about that time she wore that sackcloth dress, just because she knew how much I loved it?"
I think its time you both spent some time apart. Let something go and if it comes back it was truly meant to be (or as Wayne says "I say hurl, if you blow chunks and she still comes, then it was meant to be).
He's going to let them go. They are going right into the arms of an evil new boyfriend.

Jeremiah 1-3

I love a new prophet. Although I'm beginning to feel like these are the "hall monitors" of the holy land. I haven't really felt close to one since Moses. None since he seem very likable as people, which may be why no one listens to them. They all seem like grumpy old men. Like the troll who lives under the bridge, yelling and screaming at passers by.

After all don't you get more flies with honey?

Here's to hoping Jeremiah is different.

God chooses Jeremiah when he is in the womb. He separated him as soon as soon as he was born. And Jeremiah is used to speak for God at a young age. I'm feeling hopeful. A kid telling people about God, not THAT'S someone I would listen to.

Call up all the people and tell them I am mad, says God. Gird up your loins, boy!

Then God delivers his message, with goes something like this....I remember the good ole' days when you people loved me? That was a good time. Now you people are like hot camels and donkeys in heat, running after idols. So here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to bring a wrath down on you and lets see those "gods" save your butts. How does THAT sound you bunch of wild asses?

And we have lots of comparisons between cheating spouses and the people of Israel. And prostitutes and the people of Israel. And of course animals in heat and the people of Israel.

So far I give Jeremiah a thumbs up. He is speaking to the people in words they understand. He doesn't seem too angry as of yet.

Zephaniah

Zep has a mighty message from the Big Guy. He's planning on complete annihilation. Man, bird, beast, fish... (Completely off subject, but doesn't Molech seem like SUCH a Lord of the Rings character?!)
He has separated the followers from the not followers. They will survive I suppose.
The time for repentance is speeding by like chaff whirled before the wind.
The rest of the book is more of the same. Lots of fire and brim stone.
Chapter 2vs17 is nice however.

2kings 22-23 2chron 34-35

Josiah was 8yrs.when he started his reign of Jerusalem. He's was a great little fella. And he found a book, a magical book. This book told of God and the laws ones must follow in order to keep God happy.
The king apparently connected with book and sorta, kinda freaked out once he realized that they were living in a bizzaro universe. NOTHING they were doing was correct.
He did a ton of house cleaning. The little guy tumbled alters and crumbled idols and killed priests and saved children. All was good, he was the best the world had seen in some time.
So of course God totally changed his mind about Jerusalem. JK! He didn't. To little, to late suckers.
I think what he did do was see to it that the king didn't live to see him serve his cup o' wrath to the peoples. He was sleeping the good sleep before the smack down was layed.

Nahum

Prophet Nahum, who's name means consolation or comfort, lives in the time of the Assyrians reign of terror.
He starts his little tale with descriptions of God. He is jealous and vengeful. The mountains tremble before him and hills melt away.
He knows well who take refuge and trust in him.
God's going to help Jerusalem fight the Assyrians.
Nineveh is apparently the center of the Assyrian evil. Lots of talk of whoredom and harlotry. God is setting in motion quite a plan for these peeps. He's planning on sowing their nakedness (never a good thing, see there is a little good nakedness in the world and a WHOLE lot of bad nakedness). He's planning on throwing stuff at them which is going to make them filthy, so we can only imagine what that might be. Treat them with contempt, this one I love. I love it because, really what worse than someone treating you with contempt? Then the BEST of all "You will be drunk [Nineveh, with the cup of God's wrath]; you will be dazed. I love the idea of bad guys being drunk with a cup o' Gods wrath. This is like the third time someones bean served a helping of cup o' wrath. Apparently God likes it as well.
God tells the people to gather water, to prepare for a long fought battle. A battle, he then tells them they will ultimately lose. However its always best to be prepared.

2 Chronicles 32-33

Another retelling. This time we are retold the story of the battle between Hezekiah, who had God on his side and the king of Assyria, who didn't.
The king of Assyria is trying to tell the people how absolutely redonkulous it is to follow Hezekiah. A man who claims to be getting marching order from God. A man who has taken down all the alters and has people praying to one God?
The king of Assyriah then took up a letter writing campaign against God.
God helped Hez, and he kinda got a little big for is britches. God humbled him a little and he straightened up. He dies and his takes over, at 12 yrs old. He rebuilds the alters to Baals. He builds alters INSIDE the churches. He burns his children as sacrifices and sets the dreaded carved images also inside of the houses of God. This guy is the worst yet, wouldn't you say?!
God tries to talk and no one will listen. He takes action and they all cry out for help. Ain't that always the case. The king cleans up his act and dies. His son Amon is in power. He goes right back to the evil ways and is killed by his servants, who are then killed by the people o' the land.

2 Kings 20-21

This was just a retelling of the story of king Hezekiah asking that yrs be added to his life.
We read about all the wicked things that the sons he had after he was granted more life did. One was even killed by his own servants.

Isaiah 64-66

I wrote quite a bit to sum up Isaiah, then I accidentally erased it.
I'm a genius sometimes let me tell you...
I haven't it in me to rehash it all.
God basically says that he's really mad at the idol worshipers (as if we didn't know) They, he says, shall always be hungry and thirsty and sad and in pain.
We get our first amen, I believe. So that's nice.
Also there is some talk of heaven, also nice.
We are Gods ottoman, apparently.
(I'm just hitting the high points here)
And Isaiah ends with a bang that we still feel today.

Isaiah 59-63

Isaiah's tone has changed again. These chapters don't feel like the others ones to me either. These chapters seem like one metaphor after another.
Lots of talk of the wicked. "The way of peace they know not, and there is no justice or right in their going."
Then talk of Jerusalem as the bride to God's bridegroom.... and a look back to Moses and Egypt.

Is. 54-58

I'm liking Isaiah more and more. It speaks to the main problem I've always had with organized religion. I am surrounded by "Christians". Living in the south everyone claims to be a Christian. 95% of the people I know go to church every Sunday. (I am only speaking of the people I know, I am not making assumptions about anyone that I don't know) I see very little Christian- like behavior from theses "Christians" and so I've always associated their poor behavior with all Christians.

Jamie and I have talked about this soosososooo many times....

So anyway, I am loving all the talk about doing good works as opposed to fasting for God. He is looking at theses people and going "are you for real?"....again as Jimmy Buffet put it "there's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning...."

Is.49-53

This part of Isaiah is like "Jesus.....The Prequel". If you were an alien, reading this book completely cold, then Isaiah would totally give away the climax of the story. Like "The Magicians Nephew" the prequel to "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" (written AFTER all the others), Isaiah gives away an awful lot of stuff.

Nothing lasts, not the heavens or the earth, nothing except God's rightness, justice and salvation. This may be comforting to kids who see Where the Wild Things are and worry that the sun is going to die, as Max did.

God is taking away his cup o' wrath from his people and is giving it to their oppressors. So that's really good, I think. I had a cup o' wrath the other day and it really made my acid reflux flare up.

Chapter 53 was really really Jesus-y.

2 Kings 18:9-19 Ps 46, 80, 135

More politics. In the 4th yr of King Hezekiah's reign the king of Assyria came and took Samaria. He then sets his sites on Judah, they don't just roll over though. Hezekiah first offers them gold and silver to leave them alone. The king of Assyria was less than impressed and set men to find out why these people are so bold as to assume they can buy their way out of this. The men give a long speech in the language of the Jews', of which no one understands. They ask that they repeat that in Samarian. This made me chuckle.

Then we get a cameo appearance from Isaiah. He comes with a message from God. He tells Hezekiah to not worry, He's got your back. And indeed he does. God takes it from this point and smites and smotes the Assyrians.

Ps 46:
Let be and be still and know that I am God.
I like this because "be still" is something I try to teach my kids at school. We practice it after we leave the lunch room and are in the hall waiting for our chance at the bathroom. I tell them "its time to practice being still" MUCH more than just standing in one place.I tell them to still their eyes, their brains, their bodies, their ears.....just BE still.....its really, really hard for them. They are getting better at it though.
I think its really really hard for any of us to BE still. We are so busy and so trained to think of two steps ahead at all times that quieting our entire body is impossible. I try to be still and just take in the peace for a few minutes every morning (if I get the blog up in time).

80: give us just one more chance

135: Yea God, Boo idols...

Is 44-48

Who is such a fool as to fashion a god or cast a graven image that is profitable for nothing?
I feel like God can't seem to get over the idol think. We just said that he forgets all of our sins. He doesn't seem to be forgetting this one.
He's going to punish and shame even the men who make them. He goes on and on about it. "Should we just fall down and worship every tree we see" He asks?
He's going to make the crooked path straight. So that they can find Him more easily.
Does the clay ask the potter why he has no handles?
No, because clay can't talk.
God explains that He doesn't hide away in darkness and only speak to a selected few. He is accessible to everyone. He asks that all the idol worshipers come together and explain what they are getting from these gods. I think that's only fair.
God says that he shan't have his name polluted by destyroying his chosen people. Wow, Gods come a long way. But he also says he will not allow the idol worshipers to win. Also fair.
If only, says He, had you listened to me. You would be sooooo much better off.
There is no peace, says the Lord for the wicked.
...I hope so

Is 40-43

Prepare ye the way of the Lord, prepare ye the way of the Lord.... That's the opening song of one of my fav musicals Godspell.
The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.
I love 40:20-21, again in a nutshell he is saying...the idols again?! Really!? Seriously people!? Haven't we bean over this?
We are simply grasshoppers. God can take out the judges and rulers with a sneeze.
There is more talk of Jesus coming.
God says that he has held His peace for a while and He shan't do it anymore. Now he shall cry out like a woman in travail. He will gasp and pant together! He's taking down mountains and drying up pools. God talks a gain about the people only coming to him in time of need. He tells them that everyone, including Jacob has sinned. It seems to me that He's saying, let's just but all of that behind us and look forward. Let's work together to be better people. This is the reading that I like, the reading of hope and promise, of compassion and understanding.

Is 37-39

Still a bunch of "he said" "he said" between Jerusalem and Assyria. I for some reason am finding Isaiah really hard to get into. I just don't like the feel or the flow of this book. The king of Judah is on his deathbed. He has no sons so he begs for his life. God grants him 15 more yrs. In that 15 yrs he does have sons. The one that ultimately takes his thrown turns out to be supa horrid. So should we ask for what we don't have, or aren't getting?
Some of his sons also get taken away to become Eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.

Isa 35-36

So many names. I'm not really sure what's going on in chapter 36. I read through it few times and couldn't really follow it. All I know is people are eating poop and drinking pee. Hezekiah is saying that God will deliver these people? But the king of Assyria is saying that's a bunch of bologna?

Is 31-34

Egypt is going to fall for helping Judah and Judahs going to fall for being helped by Egypt? The Assyrians are going to be taken down and made slaves by God himself.
BUTT then, once "a king" arrives all good things shall happen. People will begin to understand everything, hear everything, see everything, no more studderers, no more idiots.
I like vs 17 of chapter 32. And then....gore. The Lord is indignant against all nations, and his wrath is against all their host.

We ALL know how wrathful God can be, when he's angry.

I now know what He was doing with all that blood from sacrifices...filling up and enormous sword with it. He's going to take people out with a sword made of blood and fat.

The grounds going to be so gross that only pelicans and porcupines and owls and ravens will want to live there.

Odd.

Oh wait, and jackels and apparently Native American ostriches.

And the night monsters (the boogie man?).

And kites, ah yes kites. Every kite shall have a mate.

That may have bean the oddest reading yet.

Isaiah 28-30

Isaiah is a really really depressing book. Fading flowers, drunk priests, filthy vomit... Isaiah is telling the people that their "do a little good here" and their "say a little prayer there" is not enough. When they reach out to God it will be as if the bed is too small and the covers too narrow to wrap up in.

He goes on to chide the people who think they can hide their wrongdoings from God. LOTS of exclamation points in this book, I feel like Isaiah is a screamer. We get a metaphor of God as a potter forming us, this I like...

And then promise of all the great that will come if they will just get it together. Smash the idols people....7 days of sunlight in ONE day. I'm going right now to smash something to see if we can just get one day of sunlight....just one.

Hosea 8-14

More talk of the sins of Israel. Its apparently the teenage years. Israel is rebelling, trying on different hats, trying to push the boundaries....

I don't get however, what they're getting from Baal. Why continue to worship it, (him?) if things aren't going well. They must be getting something from it. I guess its the freedom they feel. Like being a teenager and disobeying everyone in authority....doing what you want, when you want, with little to no regard for consequences. But we don't abandon our teenagers. Most of us don't turn our backs on them. We acknowledge the trials and help guide them along the correct path.

In the last chapter of the book, God decides to do exactly that. He doesn't turn his back. He says "I will heal their faithlessness; I will love them freely, for My anger is turned away from Israel."

Hosea 1-7

WHAT is with all the prostitutes? Is it me or does book have more prostitutes than any other character? When kids read this, what are they told harlots are? How is that explained? In this book the prophet is actually told to go and marry a harlot, named and I kid u not, Gomer. So in my mind I'm totally picturing a female Gomer Pyle.
They have kids and name them very uplifting things like "not pitied"
Basically this family is the symbolic voice of Gods anger toward Israel. Each child represents an action God is taking toward the Israelites. They have another kid who get the, roll off the tounge name Not my people.
Hosea's brethren Ammi and sister "you-have-been-pitied-and-have-obtained-mercy" on the other hand have great names. These guys, I think represent the house of Judah.
It goes on to use the symbol of the harlot to explain the sins of Israel in choosing to not follow Gods laws.
Gomer cheats on her husband, just as Israel has cheated on God. God tells Hosea to go and buy her back because apparently she's become a slave.From what I can gather though, he is to treat her somewhat like a slave himself until she has proven her worth. Which is what God plans to do to Israel. See how its all related! Then there's a bit about raisin cakes and all I can think of are those gross Little Debbie raisin cream pies. Blahhhch. And then a bunch more about woman sleeping around. Daughters sleeping around, daughters in law sleeping around...this was written by men right? Hard to tell sometimes. We must remember though that most of this is symbolic harlotry. Cheating on God with Baal.
At the end of chapter 7 God gets really, really angry. He has a pretty moving monologue in which he says in a nutshell...REALLY!?

2 kings 18 1-8 2 Chron 29-31 Ps 48

We read first of a good king, really? Wow he knew there were any. He tore down all the images and broke the high places and even destroyed something Moses has made. I need some clarification on why Moses made a bronze serpent.
The Chron.reading goes more in depth. Its like the good ole days. He brings the Levites in the clean the temple (where have they bean?). Once its cleaned they kill he goats (I've missed the he-goats too) and they splash blood on the alter. Everything is just as it should be. This is good...right? Thinks are looking up.
The problem is there's a shortage of sanctified. The king is throwing an old fashioned Passover party and all the God fearing people are invited.
I'm confused as to chapt 30 vs15. Why were the Levites ashamed?

Isaiah 23-27

Chapter23 is all about the future of Tyre. The city, which is a great port city will be abandoned and lay desolate for 70 yrs. After 70 yrs however, Tyre will once again play the harlot, here meaning that it will serve many cities. Notes tell us that this did indeed come to fruition.

Then we come again to visions of the end of days. Its bleak, people....very bleak indeed. And everyone is included, masters as well as slaves."The new wine mourns, the vine languishes; all the merrymakers sigh. The mirth of the timbrels is stilled, the noise of those who rejoice ends, the joy of the lyre is stopped. No more will they drink wine with a song; strong drink will be bitter to those who drink it." I think its the idea of such silence that's the creepiest.

I think its kind of funny that Isaiah tells the "good guys" to go in their house and lock the door until all of this is over. Don't know why I find that strange.....but I do. All the evil will be wiped out and only the good will be left, am I right? Is that how this is going to work? Because at first I was under the impression that everyone was going and He was just going to start fresh. But then the whole thing with the supernatural dew confused me, does this mean these dead are going to heaven? Why aren't they there already? or does it mean that they are literally coming back to have another go at it?

Isaiah 18-22

Let's just start with a passage that describes my week thus far....Egypt has been caused to stagger.....as a drunken man staggers in his vomit. Its all about the vomit this week apparently.

Then we hear that Egypt, Assyria and Israel will become a trifecta of love for the Lord. Ok if God has the power to make the Egyptians follow his teachings, why didn't he just do that in the first place?I know it would have ruined the book, but it may have saved a few million lives?

THEN Isaiah is told to walk around naked and barefoot for three years?! You just know he was thinking, "what happened to the 40 days? This was a warning to the Egyptian people as to what would happen if they loose this war with Assyria.

Instead of repenting and covering themselves in sackcloth and ashes, the people decide to as Dave Matthews puts it "Eat, drink, and be merry....for tomorrow we die!" I just sorta feel like this is the way to do it. If you know you are going, go out happy and full.

You know how I love Biblical, pop culture references:

TRIPPIN BILLIES, Dave Matthews Band
We were above
You standing underneath us
We were not yet lovers
Dragons were smoked
Bumblebees were stinging us
I was soon to be crazy

Eat, drink and be merry
For tomorrow we die
'cause we're tripping Billies

We're wearing nothing
Nothing but out shadows
Shadows falling down on the beach sand
Remembering once,
Out on the beaches we wore
Pineapple grass bracelets

So why would you care
To get out of this place
You and me and all our friends
Such a happy human race
'cause we're tripping Billies

We are all sitting
Legs crossed round a fire
My yellow flame she dances
Tequila drinking oh our
Minds will wonder
To wondrous places

So why would you care
To get out of this place
You and me and all our friends
Such a happy human race

Eat, drink and be merry
For tomorrow we die

Isaiah 13-17

The downfall of humanity shall be a feast for the eyes, I tell you. Many many interesting images in these chapters. Some of my favorites include the dancing demon goats, ostriches living in houses, serving up tea....

And then there's the infants being ripped to shreds, the wives being ravaged....

All and all I felt like crap after I read it. I just want these guys to listen! HELLLLLLO people! But then again at some point you have to be put up or shut up. And I think God is just about to put up all over this promise land.

Lots of talk of prophecies being fulfilled in the notes. God said this land will be filled with demon goats and it was, this land will become a marsh land, and it did...

Why did I picture Mike Seaver reading this to me? Any ideas?

2 Kings 16-17 2 Chron.28

We have yet ANOTHER dud king on our hands here peeps. This guy not only burns incense (shouldn't it be insents?) but he even sacrifices his own son. Whatever! he may be the worst one yet.

Syria and Israel come to Jerusalem to start a war with this fella but are unable to conquer him. Ahaz, the idol lovin, incense burnin, son bbquing king of Judah asked for help from the Assyrian king. When Ahaz wen to visit the Assyrian king he totally dug his alter and wanted one built just like it.

He dies and his son, Hezekiah takes over (any idea why this book is called kings?) Israel also has a new king, Hoshea. Hes a bad guy. I know?! Surprising, right?

The king of Assyria takes the Isralites away because the SECRETLY did bad things against the Lord. Was it a secret though? really?

We get a reminder of all the warnings God has given these people and all the bad they ave done. He just wants them out of his site, all but the tribe of Judah. God finally takes Israel from David's line and gives it to Jehroboam.

Israel is now gone, out of the promised land and into Assyria. I think he HUGE that He didn't smite or slew the whole lot of them. A few books back and they would have all been dog meat, literally.

So the king sends a priest to go and teach these people about God and all he has done for their people yadda yadda yadda. They can dig it, kinda. I sorta see it like this "Yeah, thats really cool and all.....butt look what this god likes" and they burn up their kid.

Micah

Micah is very similar to Isaiah. More talk of the son of God coming, more talk of Jerusalem. Another long list of highly detailed stuff that He shall do to the bad people of the world. They shall eat and not be satisfied, they shall sow but not reap, sons shall dishonor fathers and daughter-in-laws shall rise up against mothers-in-law.

Its gonna be a hot mess, fo real.

But in the middle of chapter 7 there is a couple of beautifully calm and comforting verses.

2 Chron. 27 and Is. 9-12

Isaiah is more promise of doom and gloom for these crazy people, who just cant seem to get it together. First, however, we have more talk of this Son of God, fella. Where he is called my favorite nickname, Prince of Peace.

God is so angry that he isn't even going to give mercy to the widow or the fatherless....and he ALWAYS gives mercy to them, they are like his pets. I think God may have been the first parent to say "don't come crying to me when you break your leg", after warning your child not to climb a rotten tree.

God has a whole laundry list of stuff he's gonna do to these people. After hearing it I think Isaiah gets a little worried and wants to make his obedience, fear, and love known. In chapter 12 he gives his thanks and praise, just to be safe.

2 chron 27 is the short account of the reign of Jotham. He did "alright" in the sight of the Lord. He didn't give 100%, but I think he did better than most. After 16 yrs he kicks it and Ahaz takes over.

Amos 3-9

Well I do believe God is finally fed up with these idol worshiping people (as I am with American Idol worshiping people). But he does give them one last chance. Come out come out, wherever you are, beg for your salvation. He wants no more offerings of any kind, just BE GOOD.
He's done, I think. You know when you look at something that is causing you more harm than good. You try and try to make it right and finally you just say "I'm done". And walk away... He wants to say.
He wants to send locust, be he decides against it. Wants to send fire, but decides against it. And finally, he closes the door of mercy!
Amos told them all of this, but they didn't want to listen. They just wanted him to leave.
So God gives Amos a fruit basket, to cheer him perhaps? And He tells him that he is indeed done. And then it gets really dark and gloomy.

Is. 5-8 and Amos 1-2

God is angry that his vineyard has produced wild grapes. He has plowed it, planted it, tended it, cared for it, fed it , watered it.....and now, wild grapes. He is not a happy camper, or farmer. (yes I realize this is a metaphor....)

More talk of all the bad people in Jerusalem, including the "men of strength in mixing alcoholic drinks". As a person married to a former bartender, I get this one.

He's decided that he shall stop watering his vineyard. Uh oh, this doesn't sound too good to me.

Isaiah has a vision that God comes to him and tells him to go and make the people of Jerusalem not see or hear what they should? And fatten their hearts, do this, He says until all of the city is gone. Is He cleaning out? Out with the old, in with the new?

Is meets with Ahaz, telling him to ask God for a sign. "Go ahead, ask Him!" Ahaz doesn't seem so keen on the idea, but Is insists. He goes ahead and tells him the sign that shall come. Here I'm pretty sure he blows the whole Jesus surprise.

Is's wife has a baby and God wants to name it, great....right?! RIGHT!? God naming your baby, personally...it has to be good thing. He decides the baby shall be named Maher-shalal- hash- baz. Imagine this little guy in preschool bc. I bet they call him Charlie.

Then more, "straighten up", talk.

Amos:

Amos has some visions and some direct orders and punishment for some of these guys. First Damascus, they shall have fire. Then Gaza, also a fire. They get it for being slave traders. Next up, Tyre for not helping people....they get FIRE! Edom...fire. Ammon, for ripping women to shreds, you also get F-I-R-E. Moab get fire, for having fire, and burning the bones of a king. Judah gets fire for just flat out disobeying. Israel...oh Israel, you get fire for buying a new pair of shoes......and so, so, so,so, so much more...

Isaiah 1-4, 2 Kings 15, 2 Chron 26

Isaiah is a prophet with bad news to share. God is fed up with the bad behavior of his people. Not just the idol worship, but all of it. He compares Jerusalem to Sodom. He talks about the false offerings. As Jimmy Buffet says "there's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning" These peeps seem to be doing what ever they want and then burning rams. God's sick of it. He actually says, its whats in your heart that matters....not the offerings. At this point He seems really frustrated, he seems to be saying "enough is enough, for goodness sake people, just DO GOOD, BE GOOD"

He actually does say "Learn to do right! Seek justice, relieve the oppressed, and correct the oppressor. Defend the fatherless, plead the widow." I really love this because I think it says it all, just do what is right! JUST DO WHAT IS RIGHT! How hard is that? Personal right I feel like is harder...this stuff, the injustice, helping people out who need it....this stuff is easy. Just do it.

The chapters go on to continue to say more of the same. Straighten up, people.

In Kings and Chron. kings are getting killed and replaced left, right, up and down. If I counted correctly in this one chapter there are stories of 10 different kings, all but a couple were murdered and replaced by the murdered. Things are not looking good.....*see Isaiah 1-4

Jonah and 2 kings 14, 2 chron 25

Ah Jonah and the whale.....I mean fish. Why do Christians seem so peeved when people say whale? So Jonah is given an assignment from God, and assignment that he doesn't want. So he tries to hide....from God....for real. He joins a carnival or boards a ship or something.

Guess what happens? God finds him. He finds him and I think maybe he's a bit peeved because he sends a mighty storm that rocks the ship. The guys on the ship are all praying like crazy to their various gods to no avail. "IS everyone praying their hardest??" wait someone is missing....wheres Jonah, hes not praying.

They go and get him and he admits that indeed it is his God that is causing all of this craziness. He tells them that he tried to hide and asks that they throw him overboard to save themselves. AHHH at last, God will never find him at the bottom of the ocean....but a mighty FISH will. I mighty FISH sent by God to swallow him up and keep him alive for days and days.

As crazy as this seems its no crazier than anything else we've read. It you believe all the other stuff to be true, this is just another miracle. After a few days the fish vomits Jo and he relents and goes to do Gods work.

He heads to the town of Nineveh to deliver a message that in 40 days, really?, God shall lay the smack down on these people. Guess what happens? They totally freak out and repent. That never happens. God even seems shocked by it and decided not to smite or smote or even slew anybody. WOW.

Jo is not to happy about this though. He's got a lot of nerve doesn't he? After all of his hiding? So God decides to treat him a weird lesson thought the use of a gourd. As Jo is sitting in the desert feeling sorry for himself, God grows a giant gourd to shade him. Then he kills it and Jo is all sad and pittiful over the loss of this gourd. God says, "you are soooo sad for the death of a gourd you have only known for a day, but you would have me kill this huge giant city full of people??"

I think Jonah and the gourd is a better lesson than the whale? (sorry, fish)

Kings and Chron:

War and bad guys....war and bad guys....war and bad guys.....

2 Kings 12-13 2Chron 24

The Lords house is in disrepair. So the king wants to raise some funds in order to fix it. They collect money but the work doesn't get done. So the king takes matters into his own hands. He puts a box with a lid on it, and a hole in the lid in the front of the church. People can put money in and the money goes directly to the repairs. This is going to be such a conversation started next time I find myself in a church. I'm going to stand by the box by the door and find out how many people know who's idea that was.

Remember the 7 yr old kid king, hes a good guy, but his servants kill him.

A couple of more bad kings...and Elisha dies. His death is very hum drum, no flaming chariots. BUT, when another dead guy is put in Elisha grave (?), he awakes from the dead. Soooo that's strange.

2 Kings 9-11

Elisha goes and secretly anoints a new king of Israel. Jehu, who is a captain. O captain, My captain? He pours some sugar...I mean oil on him and tells him that God has chosen him to be king. He is to overthrow Joram and take the lead, and in the mean time also kill Jezebel and not bury her, but instead allow the dog to eat her.......dddddang.

Jehu does as he is told and kills Joram with an arrow that goes through his back and pierces his heart. But the real story lies with Jezebel. She hears of his coming so she dolls herself all up. When he arrives she calls down to him from an upper window, and he has some eunuchs that happen to be standing around, throw her down. She splatters everywhere and then Jehu runs over her with his chariot for good measure. He goes in for a bite to eat. When he orders her to be buried, men say there is nothing left of her......the dogs

"The corpse of Jezebel shall be like dung upon the face of the field in the portion of Jezreel, so that they may not say, This is Jezebel" MAN, that is rough.

Jehu is quite a violent fellow. After Jezebel he has all of Joram's sons beheaded and their heads piled up out side the city. Then he slews and slays everyone and anyone connected with the house of Ahab. Even people coming to visit them get slewed.

Jehu tells everyone that he is a great follower of Baal and wants to offer up a spectacular sacrifice.. Come One, Come All to the BBQ for Baal....read the invite. Every Baal worshipper in the tri village area was to show up.....and then he had them all killed, pre-tty clever. God was super stoked about the wiping out of all Baal worshippers. The Jehu knows how to get stuff done.

We now return to a story already in progress....remember when Ahaziah's mom found out he was dead and decided to kill all of his descendants? and his half sis took one baby and hid him away....well we are back to that story. The little boy is now seven, and he is made king. Athaliah, the murdering grandma is not happy to hear this news. She is so p o-ed in fact that she rips her clothes. Now, I wonder...when exactly did people stop ripping their clothes when they were very angry, when did this fall outta fashion?

2 Kings 5-8

The king commander of Syria is a leper. His wife has a maid that tells him of a prophet in Israel who can heal him. So the king sends a messenger to ask if he may borrow this prophet in order that he may be healed. Well, let me tell you the king of Israel (why won't they use his name? I have no idea who's king at this point. Lastly was Jorah, I think?) was NONE to pleased to get this letter. He was so angry he tore is clothes? Really buddy? Are we that mad? Even Elisha asks "what up with ripping your clothes? Tell em to send the guy and I'll heal him, no big whoop....chillax my brotha" I think that the king thought this was some sorta set up.



the Syrian commander comes and is told to go and bath in the Jordon and he'll be all better. He was less than impressed. I think he was expecting a magic wand of some sort. He baths, he's healed.



The Syrian is a changed man, he is now a follower of God. He asked though that when he goes into the house of the king of Syrias god and pretends to bow down with the king, that God pardon him. That's a big deal I think.



Then there's some business with Elisha's little minion taking money and being cursed as a snow white leper.



.....a floating axe and and MORE chariots of fire (I sure hope that song is playing in every one's head as they read that). Then a bizzaro story of cannibalism. There is a famine in Samaria and at least two woman have taken to boiling up their sons for supper. Well actually only one son, the second lady hid hers after eating the first lady's kid. And its all Elisha's fault.

Another story of lepers who plunder, and people who trample. The Syrian king is sick, he sends Hazael to ask Elisha if he shall recover. I sorta feel like Elisha's being used and abused. Elisha looks at Hazael and begins to cry, saying that the king will recover but he shall die. Elisha tells him that he will reign over Syria and do terrible terrible things, such as ripping up kids and pregnant ladies. Hazael doesn't buy it. But Elisha says God has shown it to him.

So Hazael goes back, tells the king that he will indeed get better then promptly kills him and reigns in his place.....huh.

Same ol same ol over in Judah. New bad king but for David's sake God shan't punish. Then another comes along, Ahaziah also not a good guy.

2 Kings 1-4

More tales of Eli. The first chapter we find out that the king of Israel, Ahaziah has fallen and he can't get up. He sends for a messenger to ask Baal, if he shall be better soon. God sends Eli to intercept the messenger and tell him that it it because there is no God in Israel that they must send for Baal. AND because he sent for Baal, he will lay there and die. (So God is there? He has to be there if he is able to control when he will die, right?....or maybe he just won't help him to live....)

Ahaziah doesn't like this one little bit and he asks the messenger to describe this bearer of bad news. "he's a hairy fella, wearing a girdle of leather around his loins"......."ELIJAH" (said like newman)

The king sends a captain and 50 men to bring him in. They find him calmly sitting on a hill. I love the visual of this entire scene. They tell him that they are there to bring him in. He says "if I am a man of God, let fire come down from heaven and consume you" and it does....all but the captain.

The king sends a captain and 50 more....same thing.

The king sends a captain and 50 more....this time the captain ain't no dummy, he falls to his knees and asks that the lives of his men be saved, and they are. BUT there's a fire, a fire that consumes the other two captains.

Eli once a gain tells of the impending doom of their king. When it finally happens, Ahaziah's bro Joram takes over.

Chapter 2 has many strange things happening. First of all Eli is dying, and in his death march, he parts the Jericho, such a tired trick now, why did Moses get ALL the glory? Then when he dies a Chariot of FIRE comes down from heaven and takes him?! WHAT?! No one else has gotten this kind of treatment? Moses died in the desert? And has there ever been any mention of the dead going to heaven until now? I've been watching for it and I don't think there has...maybe I'm wrong though?

Elisha takes Eli's mantel and is now the prophet. His first couple of orders of business:

A. make the drinking water clean....check
B. take out some guys who are making fun of his bald head, by bear mauling.....check

Joram is leading Israel and is another bad guy, but he doesn't worship Baal. At least that's something. He goes to war with the Mobites. The kings of Israel, Judah and Edom all band together, but they need a prophet. They send for Elisha, he sends for a minstrel. He apparently needs a little calming music to feel Gods wishes.

God sends his orders. They attack, the Moab king freaks out and offers his young son up for a burnt offering?! This thus freaks out the 3 kings and they get outta there.

Elisha pulls the "never ending jar of oil" trick, in order to help a woman out of debt. So, that's nice I think. Then he copies the "laying on the child and bringing him back to life" trick, which A GAIN is good, I just wish he could be a tad more original. Here's what strange about this story though. The kid becomes warm....sneezes seven times and then wakes up. Randomly oddddd.

Obadiah and Ps. 82-83

Obadiah is a tiny little book. The people who live in Edom where the descendants of Esau brother of Jacob founder of Israel. Remember that story? The hairy verse the slick? Yeah well they are still hashing that one out apparently.

Edom isn't helping Israel in their time of need and shall pay the price.....oh yes, they shall pay. It is not going to be pretty folks.

Psalm82: Only God can judge man.

Psalm83: A call to God, that the e vail people are ready to fight, tis time to wake up and take a stand.

2 Chron 19-22

Lots of slewing, some slaying but, I may be wrong here, no smotting.
These kings are a piece of work. We have Jehoshaphat, son of Asa. He's good, he seeks God with his whole entire soul. He does not however take all the idols away from the people. Even after the bull bbq, they still aren't 100% committed? But all in all, he's a good guy.
After he kicks it, his son Jehoram takes the helm. He's a bad guy. Love the line "he debauched spiritually the inhabitants of Jerusalem". Eli shows up with a letter. The letter says that because of his debauchery the Lord with smite (there is smitting, but as of yet no smotting) his people, but he shant kill him. Oh no, God has something much more sinister up his Godly robes. Jehoram shall die a slow gross death. His bowels will eventually fall out of his body?! I'm sure this means a bad case of disentary, but I like to imagine they literally fall out.
He dies and his younger bro, Ahaziah, takes over. Seeing how great his dad and gdad were and how their lives were blessed; and seeing his brothers horrible life and subsequent death, he will choose..... Yes! Door number 2, the horrible life and subsequent death. Which happens rather swiftly. His mom doesn't take it lightly. When hearing of his death, she decides to kill the rest of the family. Ahaziah's sister manages to get him infant son out and hides him for six years, whilst Athaliah, the murdering mother, reigns.

1 King 20-21 2 Chron.18

I actually read 21 first because I scanned for Jezebels name. Her story continues in this chapter. Ahab finds a garden he takes a liking to. He asks Naboth to give it to him and Naboth tells him, no. He says that God told him not to give Ahab anything.

Ahab goes home and pouts, refusing to eat and everything. Really? Men can be such babies.

Jezebel tells him to get up for goodness sakes, he's the king after all! Ahhh the voice of reason......kidding, calm down.

Jezebel takes matters into her own hands and writes a letter in Ahabs hand to the town elders. She tells them to have two guys say that they heard Naboth renounce God and the king. Then have them stone him to death. Isn't she just trying to help her husband get the vineyard he;s always wanted. Going about it in COMPLETELY the wrong way, but was her heart in the right place?

She comes home happy as a lark to tell her husband that he may have his vineyard now, for poor Naboth is dead. I think he's really excited. But not for long. God is super dooper angry. He tells Ahab that where the dogs licked up Naboths blood, so shall they lick up his....that's hella gross.

Ahab totally freaks out and strips down and covers himself with sack cloths...humbling himself before the Lord.....it works. God decides not to punish him right now, but instead to punish his son's. Isn't that worse??

ok so now back to 20.. Here's what I loved about 20: The visual of the kings drinking in booths. THEY even prefer a booth. This chapter had a lot going on and I had trouble following it all. I read through it a couple of times trying to figure out who was fighting whom. What I also liked was how the Syrians kept thinking that God was only the God of hills, or mountains, or valleys. Therefore they tried to fight them were God could not help them....but alas, God is everywhere.

In 2 Chron.18 Ahab has died in battle as a strange prophet predicted.