Lots of slewing, some slaying but, I may be wrong here, no smotting.
These kings are a piece of work. We have Jehoshaphat, son of Asa. He's good, he seeks God with his whole entire soul. He does not however take all the idols away from the people. Even after the bull bbq, they still aren't 100% committed? But all in all, he's a good guy.
After he kicks it, his son Jehoram takes the helm. He's a bad guy. Love the line "he debauched spiritually the inhabitants of Jerusalem". Eli shows up with a letter. The letter says that because of his debauchery the Lord with smite (there is smitting, but as of yet no smotting) his people, but he shant kill him. Oh no, God has something much more sinister up his Godly robes. Jehoram shall die a slow gross death. His bowels will eventually fall out of his body?! I'm sure this means a bad case of disentary, but I like to imagine they literally fall out.
He dies and his younger bro, Ahaziah, takes over. Seeing how great his dad and gdad were and how their lives were blessed; and seeing his brothers horrible life and subsequent death, he will choose..... Yes! Door number 2, the horrible life and subsequent death. Which happens rather swiftly. His mom doesn't take it lightly. When hearing of his death, she decides to kill the rest of the family. Ahaziah's sister manages to get him infant son out and hides him for six years, whilst Athaliah, the murdering mother, reigns.
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I don't think it was dysentery. Although, maybe. I will tell you a sick little tale. My best friend had a german shepherd that had some sort of problem similar to this and his inside literally fell out. They were just laying there, and he, of course, was moaning and howling. But after a few minutes, they just "sucked" back up inside him. So...you know.
For anyone who doesn't believe the Bible...all I have to say at this point is, really? Seriously?! I mean, you can't make this stuff up. This is wayyy better than The Guiding Light, or Falcon Crest, or CSI...come on. If humans had this kind of jump start on imagination, can you imagine what kind of stuff we'd be writing today. That would have been writing Quentin Tarantino stuff 2,000 years ago.
GET OUT!
Tomorrow's reading is Obadiah and Ps. 82-83
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