2Sanuel 22-23, Ps 57, 5, 97, 98, 99

2 Samuel22-23
Did David sneak in another Psalm? If this isn't a Psalm then I haven't read enough of David's Psalms and trust me, I have read enough of Davids Psalms.

When reading David describe God riding in to save him I am reminded of Gandalf in the Two Towers escaping from Orthanc. I am always look for where great writers get their inspiration. I have thought of Tolkien, many times while reading the Bible but no more so than this scene for some reason.

David goes on to say how much God loves him because of his uprightness and cleanliness of hands? I know we are to try and stay positive and I am all about looking for the good in people but even this is a stretch for me. I know God has forgiven him, but to say that he is upright and unscathed by scandal is a stretch. "For I have kept the ways of the Lord and have not wickedly departed from my God"? Yes, you have. Not there's anything wrong with that, per say.....as you have asked forgiveness and paid the price with the death of your son....buttttt you have departed from God.......at times......

I like 26-28

and then the last line.......shows loving kindness to His anointed, to David and his offspring forever. Well that's not right either, is it?. (2 Sam 12:10-12 )

David id dying and as his life is flashing before his eyes he recounts it for us, the reader. Including the tales of his mighty men risking their lives for water.....that he poured out.

As we reach the end of David's life, I think about him and am trying to figure out exactly how I feel about him. My initial, gut feeling is that I don't really care for him. But because he is one of Jamie's favorite people I am going to think about it a bit longer.........I'll get back to you on that

I read the Psalms, but I can't summarize them anymore. How many ways can I say "Allow God to be your shelter, he will help you when people make you stumble, trust in him, rely on him, rejoice in him....."

I figured out that it's not that I dislike reading them, its that I dislike having to find ways to summarize and interpret them. Interpret a few and you get the gist.

Psalm 58, 61, 62, 64, 2 Sam 19-21, Ps 5, 38, 41, 42

Ps 58: Again David is speaking of the ungodly. He says that they go astray as soon as they enter the world. Evil tends to spread as does negativity. If you are around it enough it will poison you so its best to avoid it whenever possible. Here David asks God to do some pretty crazy stuff to the wicked. But basically he is just asking that they be stopped from spreading the negativity.

61: Here David is asking for shelter from all of his woes.

62: David is telling God that he is here simply to serve him. It is where he gets his strength. vs 8 is something Jamie talks of often, so I feel like this might be one he really likes.

64: What I seem to be getting from these Psalms of late is that more than these people actually physically after David is the gossip. He seems to be really worried about what people are saying about him. I've always thought the whole "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" was a load of crap. Words hurt, the right words can hurt 100 times more than a punch in the gut. And cunning people know exactly which words to use to cut a person to the core.

2nd Sam 19-21
The people all hear about David weeping for his son. Joab tells him to stop all that crying, Absalom was a horrible person who slept with his women. He tells him that it sucks that he loves the one who hates him and hates the ones who love him. Has Absalom lived and he come and killed all of Davids servants would then David be happy. He is being disrespectful to the people who love him most and Joab is here to remind him of that. After much hoopla and pardoning David is once a gain king.
I think they may have peace for like a week. Then Sheba decides that all the men of Isreal have no place with David (Sheba is a Benjamite) and they all leave, all except the men of Judah. In the meantime David puts the women his son slept with under lock and key until they die. He does provide for them but even so, it hardly seems fair. Joab goes after Sheba and he loses his head, Sheba that is. I still can't figure out why any of these people think they stand a chance against Davids men?
David is told by God that because of the terrible things done by Sauls house, there must be a 3 yr famine. Because apparently he killed these Gibeonites? God tells David that he must speak to them and figure out a way to make amends. They want 7 of Saul family to kill. David agrees and they kill them and the famine is over......really? I like to imagine the look on these guys faces as they are being killed for something they had to part of.....with Gods consent.

I need a little clarification on vs. 19. If I had time I would research it myself but I'm sure my trusty Bible blogging companion will explain why it says Elhanan, son of Jaare-oregim killed Goliath?

More giants and a math lesson to boot! If a man has 6 fingers on each hand and 6 toes on each foot can you write an equation where Q equals the number of appendages he has?
(6x2)+(6x2)=Q...............Q= 24. Thats right, bees and gees (thats "boys and girls" to those who are not in my math class.......as that is what I often call my students)

ps 3-4, 12-13, 28, 55 2sam 16-18

2 sam 16-18:

Chaos is aplenty. All hell is breaking loose, literally as well as figuratively. We have Mephibosheth after the throne of his grandpa Saul. And Absalom taking the throne of his dad. In Psalm 3 he speaks to God saying "Lord, How they are increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me" That's putting it mildly, I would say. Absalom eventually comes into town and sleeps with his dads concubines.

By and by Davids men fight Absalom and kill him. David had asked that they not. I feel like he's on the verge of a major breakdown.

Psalm 4 David is asking the Lord to listen to him. He is also telling the men who are after him to watch out, because he is God's chosen and he is pretty sure that God is listening to him. Then he speaks again to God telling him that he finds more happiness in him than he does in wine. He will sleep in peace because he knows God is watching over him.

12: Here David speaks to God about all the bad people doing and saying bad things.

13: David here is telling God to look and listen!

Ps. 32, 51, 86, 122; 2 Sam. 13-15

32: admit your sins to God and he will forgive you. Just like as parents (and teacher) we would like our children just to own up to what they did. We know they did it anyway, as He know the sins people commit. So just say your sorry and "you better say it like you mean it, mister!"
51:5, they blamed their mothers for their problems back then as well. Here David is apologizing and asking for forgiveness for sleeping with Bath. Here David makes what turns into such a clique, get me through this and I will (fill in the blank).
86: David here is thanking God for seeing him through his rough patch and telling him he will use his remaining time to glorify him.
122:a prayer for Jerusalem.
2 sam 13- 14
Its gettin crazy up in here. Davids son is smitten with his half sister (is that right) so he devises a plan to get her to feed him and then he rapes her and THEN is disgusted by here and has her thrown out. SWEET! Right?
Soooo one of his brothers kills him two years later. And David is glad.
More trickery in 14 when Joab hires a player to act the part of an old widow woman who's son has recently killed her other son. Her family is really super mad and wants the living son to also be killed.
She asks David to please put a stop to the avenger of blood. David agrees.
David asks "did Joab put u up to this"? "He did! You are so super smart" says she.
And because of this little charade Absalom is allowed to come home. Apparently Absalom was a hot-TY with some amazing hair. There then seems to b some sort of miscommunication and Abs burns down Joabs fields and visits with his dad.

Ps.65-67, 69-70; 2 Sam. 11-12; 1 Chron. 20

2 Samuel 11-12

OK now we are getting back to the drama.

We have David hanging out on his couch and deciding to take a walk on his roof.

We have Bathsheba bathing (bath....she...?).

We have the moonlight capturing her beauty.

David, acting like a man, must have her even though he is completely aware of the fact that she is married....yadda, yadda, yadda.....she gets pregnant.

Brilliant move on Davids part, he brings her husband home and tries to get him to sleep with her, thus ending his part in the whole debauchery.

But to no avail, the honest Uriah thinks it wouldn't be very generous on his part to eat, drink, and be (with) merry (or Bathsheba), whist his comrades in arms, including the ark, are sleeping in tents. Therefore, he sleeps on the doorstep. David then tries to get him drunk so he'll sleep with her, a gain to no avail.

So in cunning David style, he has him killed.

He is indeed brilliant.

But God ain't too happy so he sends a messenger, Nathan. Nathan has a yarn to spin about a rich man and a poor man in which the rich man takes a precious lamb from a poor man. He does this because he doesn't want to cook one of his own for a guest. David is OUTRAGED...."HE SHALL BE KILLED FOR DOING SUCH A THING!" says he.

Really, David? You seriously want to go there? says Nathan. That man is you, buddy.

God is m-a-d. He basically says, I handed you the world and you still take what is not yours.

The sword is going to be on you, I'm giving your wives to your neighbors, and I'm killing your son.

When the son was born David fasted and lay on the floor. The child died on the 7th day. The servants feared what would happen if they told him, after all if he was this bad while the child was living, how much worse would he be once the child was dead? However, when David finally found out, he got up, prayed, washed up, and ate.

This confused the servants.

David explained that once the child had died nothing more could be done sooooo time to get back to work. Which actually makes sense to me.

Bathsheba went on to have another son, who was blessed and loved by God.

Man.......now that's a story.

65: Give God thanks for what He provides by way of the earth.

66:11-12 Assures the reader that God is still in control in the bad times as well as the good times, be aware of that.

69 is quite intense. David once again is feeling forlorn. He has lost contact with his family due to his job in doing God works. He knows people think hes a nutter because of his fasting and sacrificing. He feels completely alone and wants God to make these people suffer vs 23-25. I tend to worry about Davids mental well being. I feel like he needs a hobby or something to calm him.

Ps. 50, 53, 60, 75; 2 Sam. 10; 1 Chron. 19; Ps. 20.

50: this one stumped me and I had to read it a few times, still I'm not quite sure any of it makes sense.
Here's what it sounds like to me: it sounds as if first, the Psalm writer Asaph is speaking for God? That just doesn't seem right, does it?
So as God, he sounds as if he is saying "I really don't need your sacrifices. I have all that I could ever want, the whole earth and all its animals are mine anyway. I want them given to me in thanksgiving, not "just because" you think you have done wrong and think this will make it right. If you hang out with the bad guys, don't even waste your he goat.....I don't want it and it won't matter how good it smells."

53: This one is a Debbie Downer Psalm. Losing faith.

60: Times seems hard, and once again as we all tend to do when times get hard, David wonders if God has forsaken him and his people. But as always He comes around and delivers David from his enemies.

75: Stay strong in what you believe and let God handle the rest. If you are surrounded by people who are "wicked" allow God to deal with them and to judge them, you are to continue to do what you know is right and all will be alright.

2Sam 10 , 1 chron.19

David hears of the death of a foes father and because this guy once showed him kindness he decides to return the favor. He sends servants to console the guy. However the new kings peeps convince him that David has sent spies instead of consolers, or comforters. (Here, I like to imagine David sent a shipment of brand new Company Store down comforters). The king is persuaded, he takes the "spies" and he shaves their beard and cuts off their skirts.

When David finds out he has the guys hang out a while in Jericho, until their beards grow back. I must say this cracks me up.

When the Ammonites realize that they have seriously angered David they hire an army. Here, I wonder that they had to realize they had pissed David off? Wasn't that the intention of shaving and stripping his comforters?

Battle, battle, battle defeat.

psalm 25, 29, 33, 36, 39 2 sam 8-9 1 chron. 17

This is what I got from the following Psalms:

Love 25:7 I know that I need at least a years worth on constant, nonstop prayer to cover all the sins on my youth. The rest of this just says to me that God will teach you how to be a good, honest, humble person if you trust in him. Open yourself up to him and he will guide you down the right path.

29: Gods voice is mighty and powerful. When he speaks to you, you will feel it through your whole body. No matter what the trouble, no matter how big and strong it may seem (breaks the cedars) he can break through it and carry you to the other side if you allow him to.


33: Words are a powerful thing. When you praise God, praise him loudly and he even enjoys a good song every now and then.


36: This one is all about the bad guys. These people fool themselves into believing what they are doing is justified. They no longer see wrong for what it is. I work with lots of these people. But if we stay strong and true to what we know is right we will see these people for what they are and they will not be able to drag us down with them. This is hard when you are surrounded by people who complain and moan and groan and hate their lives and their jobs... They are energy suckers. I try everyday to put on a happy face and do battle with them. I overtake them with joy and happiness and sometimes I am able to turn their day around, other times not. But I always try to say positive.


39: could not have come at a better time and I wonder if it was put in today's reading because I needed it? I let most of what people say slide right of my back, like water on a duck....but only to a point then I let em have it. I simple cannot control my mouth after my limit has been reached. It is a total body take over. I feel the blood rushing from my feet straight up to my head, I start to sweat, and I completly loose control of my mouth. I say exactly what comes to my head. I never yell, but I don't censor either. Its like I literally loose control of my body and immediately afterwards I feel guilty. This does not happen often, I'd say once or twice a year. But I suppose even that is too much. I will work on walking away.....simply walking away.....

Psalm 89,96,100, 105, 132, 2Samuel 7, 1 Chron 17

89: God is good, God is great....yadda, yadda, yadda......he loves us and we him.

96: Well I thing vs.13 says all that needs to be said. " HE shall judge the world with righteousness and justice and the peoples with His faithfulness and truth." So I just don't think the rest of us need waste our precious time doing it.

100: *see commentary on 89

105: Abraham, Joseph, Egypt, Moses, plagues, smotting, wilderness wandering, water rock, Canaan. I cannot believe there is no mention of the Red Sea. Really? How did that get left out?

132: David and the Lord making arrangements for a final resting place. Not a final resting place like we think of a final resting place, but a literal "final place to stay and kick back" and enjoy just, you know.....being God.

2 Sam 7
So Davids living it up in a great place, but he says to his friend "Hey man, look at this, I've got this great pad but I've got the Lord (or his representation) stuck out in a crappy tent". Thinking that somehow this can't be right he makes vague plans to build the Lord a amazing house to chill in.
God hears this through the grapevine and for reasons unknown to my little mind decides to talk to Davids friend. He's like "tell David I've been slumming it for so long I really don't mind. He doesn't need to build me a house to live in.....I AM God you know"

1 Chron 17: Is this exactly like 2 sam 7 or am I just crazy?

Psalm 1,2,15, 22, 23, 24, 47, 68

I bet my dear friend James loves Psalm 1.

Psalm 2 I believe is telling kings not to get to high and mighty, remember who is really in charge.

I'll tell you why I like Psalms like 22, because they show the humanity of these Biblical peeps. David, who was hand picked by God, even is like "why me?" sometimes. I read when Mother Theresa died that she questioned her faith many many times. That stuck with me. I think about probably once a week. That told me that I'm not so crazy, that even someone who has literally dedicated her life to glorifying God, wondered sometimes. I find great comfort in that.

When I hear Psalm 23, or read it in this case I always think of Gone With the Wind. There's a scene in the movie in which a women is reading it to a wounded solider about to die.

47 is a littttle to delightful



and then there's 68

2Sanuel 5:11-6:23; 1 Chron13-16

Ren: [addressing the town council, reading from his notes in the Bible] "From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they danced to celebrate." And that is the dancing we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise His name in the dance"?

And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? [paging frantically through Bible]

Ren: What *did* David do? [audience laughs]

Ren: "David danced before the Lord with all his might... leaping and dancing before the Lord." [smacks table in front of Reverend Moore]

Ren: *Leaping* and *dancing*. [stands up straight]

Sorry, I knew this sounded familiar and so I did a little investigating.

Chapter 6 is a short chapter packed with enough drama to fill hours and hours of discussion. It starts with David and his new house. He wants the Ark to be moved to his new home. He sends a couple of men to get it. Whist transporting it, the ox stumbled and it almost falls off the cart and so Uzzah grabs it to steady it and he is smote, not slew. This leads to the question, should he have let it fall to the ground?

David hears this and is angry with the Lord and says, FINE, I don't want it. He sends it to stay with someone else, this guy, Obed-edom, the Gittie.

What should happen to his house? Its glorified, blessed.

David wants a piece of that action and sends once a gain for the ark. This is the part that struck me as familiar. David leaps and dances before the Lord as the Ark is being driven into his city.

This next part cracked me up, because most wives who had been to a wedding reception with their drunk husband in tow, know from where Michal comes. She is none to happy with David and all his leaping and dancing. She doesn't think he should be leaping and dancing in front of the servants. Does a King forsake a little cred if he leaps and dances in front of the help?

David puts her in her place by telling her that he is leaping and dancing FOR the Lord......."You know, THE LORD that chose me to be king over your dad AND anyone in your family, you remember Him?"

WORD

This is so Jerry Springer.

2 Sam.5:10; 1 Chron. 11-12; Ps. 133, 106-107

We read: David became greater and greater, for the Lord God of hosts was with him.



yep, that's what we read...



1 Chron. 11-12

Everyone finally decides that David is who they need to be King. The people are all like, EVEN when Saul was "King" it was you who really did what needed to be done.



As a teacher I often come across very strange names and we laugh and say "where in the world did they get that?" I am just wondering why none of them have discovered the wealth of totally wacked out names located here in our dear Bible. Case in point.....Eleazar son of Dodo.

So these three mighty men walk into a bar......because their master is thirsty......

David has his 3 mighty men. He longingly says he is parched and would totally LOVE something to drink......but the well is so near the enemies gates........sigh.........

Enter: Mighty Men

mighty men think to themselves: nothing is too dangerous for our King.........if he is thirsty, we will risk our very lives in order that he may drink.........

Mighty Men go and get water and bring it to their King

David: OMG (literally)! I can not drink this water that you risked your life to bring me, your very blood is in this water. I shall give it to God.

David pours the water out (and in effect giving it to the Lord)

Mighty Man 1: Really?

Mighty Man2: Seriously?

Mighty Man 3: Are we on Camera?

Now we get into some slewing. I want to know if there is a difference between a smite and a slew?

Ps. 133
I personally prefer the dew analogy over the oil analogy.

Ps.106

I feel like I've heard this somewhere before?

Psalm102-104

We start today with a prayer of the afflicted.

The writer starts off by being awfully demanding, he wants a speedy response. He then seems to blame God for his situation 102:10. He goes on to somewhat taunt God saying basically "what do you care, you'll be here forever anyway" 102:12

103: This is my new favorite.

104 is like God's resume.

Psalm 81, 88, 92-93; 1 Chronicles 7-9

81 was like a cliff notes version of the cliff notes version of what we have read thus far. Apparently its VERY important that no one should forget about the leaving of Egypt, because it is brought up every chance anyone gets.

I kept going back just to make sure 88 wasn't written by Job. I am still not totally convinced that he didn't assume a pen name an scratch this one down.

92-93 are just again nice, positive, uplifting little prayers.

More family lines in Chronicles 7-9. What I did find strange within these chapters, is that just randomly stuck amongst this family tree is an account of the jobs of the Levites? Cleaning utensils, watching the furniture (?), responsible for the "things" baked in pans.

Psalm 73, 77-78; 1 Chron. 6

I'm sorta confused as to who this fella Asaph is. I looked him up and all it said was he was a choir leader for David.


To me its hard to read and really understand the Psalm, if I don't know the story behind them. Like what was going on in his life when he wrote it. We know all about David's trials, therefore his prayers make sense.


All I can really say about these is I didn't really get a warm fuzzy feeling from them. He seems a little unhappy, maybe?


They, to me, are in sharp contrast to Davids. At least the first 2 are, the last one is strictly review....Egypt, the red sea, the disobedience....


I do like the Psalms BUTTT, I will sorta be glad to get back to some story telling.

Psalm 43-45,49,84-85,87; 1 Chronicles 3-5

yadda yadda yadda David loves the Lord...

45 was strange as it appears it is written for a King, I am assuming David? But around vs.9 it sorta gets a little creepy...

love 49, its light, airy, and talks bad of the greedy. It basically says "you can't take it with you". Live life to the fullest is what I think of. Whether or not you believe in an after life, we all end the life here on Earth the same way. I think this one, so far, is my favorite. I feel bad for people who don't really "live", the drones of the world. As Abe Lincoln said "Its not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years."

Chronicles 3-5
more genealogy starting with David

Psalm 6, 8-10, 14, 16, 19, 21; 1 Chronicles 1-2

6:1 LOVE the idea of not punishing someone while in "hot displeasure", it reminds me of a saying I've picked up since working at my school. "Girl, you look like a hot mess."

David is not delusional, thats what I'm beginning to like about him. He continues to say, I know I am not perfect but....

I can see why this may be Jamie's favorite book. For the most part they are all positive and leave you with a very calming feeling. Even the ones I have read that seem written at an angry time, give me a since of humanity. I feel it shows the range of human emotion, we are what we are.

1 Chronicles 1-2 a review of the line from Adam on.... I must admit I skimmed over this. I trust that Jamie will let me know if there was something I was to notice.

2 Samuel 1-4 Psalm 121, 123-125, 128-130;

These are 4 jammed packed chapters. So much is going on.

David is none to pleased with the guy who brings him Saul crown and tells David that he finished him off after it was apparent he was to die. He was God's anointed one after all, says David. As so he has the guy killed. I like to imagine the look on this guys face, as he obviously thinks hes done a good thing.

NOW we get the crying over Saul and Jonathon. Lots of weeping. Jonathon he says he had love for that even surpasses a woman's love? Which I GUESS could mean like a brother. I feel like if I had a sister, my love for her would be a deeper, different love than the love I have for my husband.

Regardless, the mighty have fallen. (origin of this phrase apparently)

David has a sit down with God who tells him to head on over to Hebron. Here he is anointed king over the house of Judah. But someone else, a son of Saul is made king over the rest of Israel.

I smell trouble brewing.

There is fighting back and forth, David gets his foreskin wife back much to the sadness of her current husband. I would, however, have to say for 100 foreskins he should get to have her. That's one disgusting task.

People are seemingly trying to gain approval in David's eyes by killing his enemies. David is having none of it. Not when it isn't justified. You have to admire that in a leader. It gets confusing here with whos killing who and I need a visual. I can't help wondering if they had names like "George of Smithville" would it be easier to follow?

From what I gather, some of David's men go and kill Sauls son, King of Israel whilst he sleeps in his bed. When they bring his head and tell David the tale of their murder, he is outraged. He had their hands and feet cut off and he buries Ish-bosheth's head. Yum.

The Psalm today were all lovely.

1 samuel 28-31 Psalm 18 1 Chronicles10

You HAVE to love a King who disguises himself and visits a witch in order that she may summon up a dead priest to give him advice. This is a king I want ruling over me, when I move to La La Land that is.

What a nut! This guy hopefully takes the cake, I pray we see none who laugh so directly at God.

We have some battle and surprise, the Philistines betray David. Betrayal seems to be a running theme today. So David takes them all out, he smites some and he smote others. Saul either kills himself or gets killed. Either way our bumbling idiot is no mas.

Lots of tears are shed. This should be a lesson to all those "men don't cry" people. The parents at my school are the worst, they always yell when their kids cry. Next time I'm going to tell them that King David cried.....A LOT, see what they have to say about that!

Psalm 18: This has to be the longest Psalm, David is a talker. He loves to speak to the Lord and apparently write it all down. At 72 Psalms to his credit, he did write the most. The DISTANT second is Asaph who comes in with a measly 12. The clear winner is David.

I love 25-28.

1 Chronicles10:
Just a recount of Saul's death.

1 Samuel 25-27 Psalm 17, 35, 54,63

David is a wacky character thus far.

First we have him send some men out to pick up some dinner. When the total stranger denies them food in order that he may feed his own servants, all hell breaks loose. David is ready to take action. However the greedy bastards wife comes and brings food. She's in an unhappy marriage and has nothing to lose. She has something to gain however, and she does (gain that is). A few days later God smites her e veal husband and she takes up with David. That was one heck of a first date.

Then Saul makes another appearance. Yea! Love the stumbling, bumbling Saul. We get sort of a repeat performance of the cave scene. Instead of swiping his skirt however, this time he takes his spear and water bottle. Yes, as a sleeping Saul lays there unaware, David COULD have killed him A GAIN, but chose to mess with his mind a little more. I know he is trying to prove a point to the moron, but I say enough is enough. Apparently this guy isn't going to learn so lets just take him out.

Now we have David moving in with the Philistines? Is this strange? I feel like this is strange? David I think is going through his "finding myself" period of life...maybe?

More Psalms of David:

35 feels like it was written in the middle of a very emotional breakdown. LOTS of exclamation points, lots of anger which feels directed at God. LOVE 35:16

When I read 63, it was like a glimpse into the Christian brain. I get how great it must be to truly love and desire something so great. Finding comfort in "knowing" that something much bigger than you has your back must be a good feeling.

Psalm: 7, 27,31, 34, 52, 56, 120, 140-142

7: This is nice, I like it, it's all warm and fuzzy. Let God take care of business when it's needed.

27: This one just sort of sums up everything Jamie has said about God. Its like "God" the cliff notes, or "God For Dummies". "....of whom should I be afraid?", and "wait for and hope for and expect the Lord"

31: I get the feeling David may have been in a bad place when he wrote this. It just seems written from a place of sadness and forlorn. Although the message in and of itself is positive it still has a heavy feeling of sadness lurking about it.

34: Now this is upbeat and happy, I feel no sadness in it. It could be because he was pretending to be insane at the time and drooling on his beard...

52: Dang. I guess he told you.

56: It all just sounds so nice, doesn't it? Just put everything you have in Him and all your wildest dreams will come true.

120: an angry little poem

140: I get the feeling David needs a break. Wickedness is around him at all times apparently, sharp tongues, and trap setters abound.

141: This one seems like its asking God to give you strength to take care of yourself. That, I like more than asking God to take care of things FOR you. This I can take more comfort in.

142: another low point for dear David.

1 Samuel 21-24

More Davis and Saul drama. I must admit here that I simply adore Saul, he's a great character. Just ridiculously loony and such a drama queen.

David has created a private little army in order to get some actual work done. He visits with some priest in the city of Nob (fo real), after MUCH discussion of bread he asks for a weapon. They give him Goliath's sword.

When Saul here's this he is none to pleased. He goes to the city of priests and kills everyone there. This totally reminded me of the scene in Revenge of the Sith, when Anakin is slipping over to the dark side. He goes to the Jedi temple and kills all the younglings. After that came to my mind, I sat for a while and thought about the parallels between Saul and Anakin Skywalker. Anakin was also a nobody, hand picked, who because of jealousy is lead to the madness of the dark side.

Did I digress?

Anyway Saul kills everyone and David feels as though maybe its his fault. This is getting crazy and needs to come to an end. WHY hasn't anyone killed this kookoo bird?

Very dramatic and once again sorta comical scene. David and his troops are hiding in a cave, when who should walk in to take a leak? Yep that's right, Saul.

David's guys are all like "GO KILL THE NUTTER, MAN!!!" Instead David tip-toes over and cuts off Saul skirt. (love that visual)

After Saul leaves (not realizing that his skirt is missing) David catches up with him. He shows him his skirt and says "I totally could have killed you! BUT I DIDN'T!! So CHILL THE HELL OUT!" or something to that effect.

Saul has a very dramatic scene in which is says that David is so good and kind and he is so sorry, it shan't happen a gain.

yea right.

1 Samuel 18-20 Psalm 11, 59

....the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own life.

As a knitter, I must say I LOVE this line. It means so much more than bonded, or tied, or wound together. When you knit two strands together, you can't pull them apart, you cant untie them. They simply become ONE hat, or ONE scarf, or ONE life.

Beautiful, really.

ok so, Johnathan and David are BFF (to say the least) and now David is hangin with Saul in battle. He is out shining him at every turn. It's no big deal until the ladies start to take notice. When they sing and dance about Saul killing 1000 men and David taking out 10,000, its the beginning of the end.

Saul is turning jealous and spiteful and just wants David gone. David meanwhile is doing everything right and is doing it with humility.

Saul offers one daughter to David, but that falls through. So he offers another, the one who truly loves him. Under one condition, he must deliver a hundred Philistine foreskins to Saul.

I almost want to just let this one go. It's almost too easy. I'll just list a few

A. REALLY?!
B. I think my husband should use this one when it comes time for our daughters to date.
C. do you think he made a soup with em?
D. SERIOUSLY?!

David delivers, however............. 100 foreskins........... coming up.

Saul just really, really hates David and wants him dead. He tells his son and all servants to kill him. Jonathon betrays his father, which I thought was a commandment, and tells David to hide. Jon then goes and speaks to his dear ole dad and convinces him to allow David to live.

I'm beginning to think that perhaps the "evil spirit" that has taken over Saul goes by the name Sir Paranoid Schizophrenia.

He continues to try and have David killed but is thwarted at ever turn by the people who loves and admire David.

As David is running constantly from Saul the Nutter, he can't help but ask "WHAT have I done?". Now at this point David is so good, he never assumes that Saul is insane, he assumes he must have done something to deserve this. He asks his good pal Jon. Jonathon tells him, "if you had done something really bad, deserving of death, my dad would have told me, but he hasn't. HE'S JUST NUTS, MAN!! Koo Koo for cocoa puffs!"

David's response? "He just knows how much you love me, and therefore doesn't want to tell you for fear of breaking your heart." I want to say, are you serious?! But I am SO like this, it's true. I have such a hard time believing people can be so mean and hateful, for no reason. I just always look REALLY REALLY hard to find the good in people. I simply know it's in there, even when they don't.

So, would you say that David is acting like a victim? Because he is asking, "what did I do wrong?" I don't, because I understand it. I usually assume, at some level, if someone (especially someone I have a loving relationship with, as Saul and David are suppose to have) is being ugly, hateful, rude, that I deserve it. NOT because I feel worthless, or weak, but because WHY else would they do it? Why would someone be hateful, just to be hateful?.....its a very foreign concept to me. Most of the time I chalk it up to a misunderstanding, especially if it is a stranger.

Jon, finally convinces David that Saul is indeed just trying to kill him for his own selfish reasons. They make out, and thats where we end.

1 Samuel 15-17

Saul, Saul, Saul...When God says kill every living thing, he means it man! Don't capture the king, don't keep a little livestock for yourself, and by all means don't spare the children.

Its our old argument again. It's beginning to feel like my favorite quilt which is becoming holey (holy) from overuse. But it is what it is. I shan't question it now.

Saul disobeys God direct order to kill everything and everybody. He says he kept the animals in order to sacrifice them. Which Sam answers with, "which is more important obedience or sacrifice?"

Do I think he kept them for sacrifice? No.

Honesty, Saul, honesty.

Saul is so done. The Lord leaves him and takes up with someone better, little ole David. David's story starts VERY Cinderella. Sam goes to David's father and asks to see all of his son's. After they all file in, he is totally not feeling em. He asks if there is anyone else who can try on the shoe. OH yeah, I do have one more son, David.

Sam sees David and knows, he know the way you know about a good melon. Samuel anoints him right then and there, in the living room. I need some anointment explanation apparently because he isn't king yet, which is what I thought it meant.

David is another plain, little guy in a long line of plain little guys that God chooses.



And now Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...

DAVID'S BIG Scene

yadda yadda yadda David takes down a giant.... (to this Jamie is bound to say "you yadda yaddaed over the good part")

I know this sounds so cynical, but I can't help thinking "what's the big deal?" If you had God literally hand pick you out of nowhere to be his king, then taking down a 10ft guy should be a walk in the park.

Right?

1 Samuel 12-14

I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have to utmost faith in our dear King Saul. He seems a bit of a Barney Fife.

Ive got a couple of question embedded in this one.

We begin with what seems like a farewell address by Sam at the start of 12, but he continues to appear throughout today's reading.

Saul 1st misstep of the day is giving an offering to the Lord, which apparently ISN'T in his contract. Lest he forget, he's a king, not a Priest. Samuel gets super angry. This is his job and even if he is stepping down, or dying or whatever he is doing, HE WANTS TO DO IT. He says its a commandment, but I need to be reminded of that one. Then he gets sorta high school. He tells Saul that his days are numbered and that there is someone which God is totally smitten with, named David.

Saul's then does the wackiest thing yet. He swears that his soldiers will not eat until the enemy has been beaten and curses anyone who does? (wild guess who eats?)

Really??!

Super hungry, weak soldiers? This is a good thing? I imagine MAYBE he thought they would fight harder in order to eat?

His son doesn't know about the vow not to eat and so.....he eats.....he eats honey and all of a sudden he's feeling better and seeing better and fighting better. Its like 5 hour energy BC.

Like any good father Saul decides that his son must die for breaking the vow. This guy just does not inspire confidence in me.

The people beg for his life to be spared and it is. So, at least we have that to feel good about.

There is also a point in the reading in which we learn that there are no metal worker in all of Israel. Then it says the Philistines say "lest the Hebrew make swords or spears" I read this like it was up to the Philistines as to whether or not the Hebrew had metal workers?

1 Samuel 6-11

Rembrandt

1658

David plays the harp for Saul

Another super comical moment is when the Phi. try to get the ark back. They are told not to send it back empty handed but with a guilt offering.

LOVE the guilt offering.

Shall it be:

money?.............no

food?.................nope

virgin?....................negative

WHAT?

They are to make golden tumors and golden mice that represent the curses God has put on them for taking the Ark.

If THAT doesn't crack you up then you have ZERO sense of humor. I just image these guys running around trying to make a mold for a tumor. Which really wouldn't be that difficult, just a blob of gold would do I imagine. But you just know when they got that order, they looked at each other, rolled their eyes and said "You have GOT to be kidding me!"

So funny.

By and by they return the Ark and all is seemingly well...........or is it?

The Israelites aren't satisfied. They have everything they could want or need but just like a spoiled brat of a child, they heard that "so and so" has a King and THEY WANT A KING!

So they all come to Samuel, who is having parenting problems of his own. His sons, like the sons of Eli, are not upstanding citizens. Are we seeing a pattern here? Aaron's sons? Eli's sons? Samuel's sons? And truthfully the people see these boys and worry a bit for their future leadership, and they feel like a King might be the way to go.

Sam sorta freaks out and speaks to the Lord. The Lord tells him that its not his leadership they are turning their back on, it is God's. If they want a King, let them have one.

Is this an incidence where your child wants to eat the entire package of oreo's and throws a fit when you say "No", so you let them. And in an hour they vomit an entire package of oreos and you sit back and chalk one up to "lesson learned"?

Samuel warns them that they may throw up and entire package of oreos, they weigh the options and choose to eat them anyway.

God chooses Saul. Saul, who has lost his donkey. Saul, who goes to a "seer" to ask for help to find his donkey. Saul, who hides in the luggage when he is to be anointed. Saul who is tall.

In chapter 11 I have two questions.
A. Is Saul, King of the Israelites, plowing a field?
B. Why, when the men are counted in prep for battle, are the men of Judah counted separately?

Samuel 1-5

Save the drama for your mama.



This was an action packed little reading. Being a lover of drama, it was really hard to stop at 5. And, if I am to be perfectly honest I will probably read tonight to find out what happens to the Ark.



Its like a whole new Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I love, love, love!



Getting ahead of myself, we begin with the lush Hannah, jk, jk, she's not a lush she just looks like one. She's having problems with her sister-wife and with not getting preggers. So she goes to church to pray. As she sits silently praying, moving her lips but making no noise (as people tend to do) Crazy Eli the priest assumes she's drunk and tells her that it may be time to push away from the bottle.



So yeah, that was odd to me and very random. I can't really get a handle on what that's suppose to mean, if anything.



Hannah makes a vow to the Lord that if He gives her a son, his life will be dedicated to the Lord, like Samson he will be a Nazirite from birth.



It comes to pass.



But, unlike Samson, Hannah does not raise her son. Once he is weaned he is given to Eli and his two crazy son's to raise. I think this is a little strange. Why was she so desperate to have a child to keep it maybe 3 yrs and then give it away? Especially seeing as how Eli hasn't done such a bang up job with his boys.



These two are nothing BUT trouble. For one thing they steal from the offerings, we learn this in a rather grotesque story about fleshhooks. Really just typing the word made me a bit queasy. I know it's animal flesh, but the word flesh to me just conjures up visions of dead, boiled, human bodies.



Sorry. Lost me head for a wee bit. (and apparently turned Scottish as well?)



The Lord speaks to Eli and is like, you besss get those boys in line. They are stealing from ME?! Bad, bad things will happen to them as well as yo own self, if this is not stopped ASAP.



Here I think we get a peek at how the church can be so corrupted by the people whom others put their trust in. I feel like sometimes the power is too much, like it overtakes the person. Does Eli not believe God? Does Eli think that the fact his boys are totally laughing in the face of God is something He will over look because he is a man of God?



Are people really that naive?



Really?



Sam is growing up to be everything we hoped he would be, even in a house full of fools. Now here we get one of THE funniest scenes I have yet to picture in my head.



Its bedtime and Eli is asleep in one room and Sam in another. Sam hears someone call his name "Samuel" and he run into Eli's room and says "Here I am"



Eli: "what are you talking about? I didn't call you!"



God: "Samuel"



Samuel: running into Eli's room "Here I am"



Eli: "what are you talking about? I didn't call you!"



God "Samuel"



Samuel running into Eli's room "Here I am"



Eli: "what are you.......wait!.........Are you drunk!" Just kidding, he realizes that it MUST be God calling him and he tells Sam to listen closely next time and speak to God.



I find it strange that Eli sees Hannah silently praying and takes her for drunk and Sam hears voices and his first thought is "God is speaking to him"?!



God tells Sam that its the end of the road for Eli and the boys. Sam shares his news and I don't feel like Eli was surprised by it.



Its battle time and the crazy Israelites feel like its a good idea to bring the ark out so that they will have extra-strength power to beat the Philistines. Not such a good idea, as it get captured.



Yep.......that's what I thought too! How could IT be captured. I guess I just sorta felt like if a bad guy touched it he would burst into flames or something? His hand would fall off, his eyes would fall out, blood would run from every pore in his body? Something. But I was wrong.



They do get boils and all that stuff and they are like, Let's get rid of THIS THING! So they move it to another city and all those people start feeling puss-y. Thet want to totally GIVE IT BACK. I kinda feel like the Israelites should make them keep it a while longer?



Thats where we end..........

The Book of Ruth

The Book of Ruth, The Book of Ruth you always hear about the book of Ruth. I was excited to get in on this action.



Its a short little book. One days reading. There is NO smiting, NO rape, NO murder, NO curses...



We have Naomi, who's husband dies, we have her two sons and two daughters in law, Ruth and Orpah (which is actually where Oprah got her name, I was mistaken earlier.). The sons die also and Naomi is stuck with her d.i.l.'s



They are living in the land of Moab, and when all the fellas kick the can Naomi decides to head home to Judah.



Naomi, I'm sorry to say is feeling betrayed by God. She has grown bitter and grumpy. She's a real Debbie Downer, as she thinks the Lord has turned His back on her. She tells the girls to go home to their families. There will be no one to marry them if they come with her and they will end up taking care of this grumpy, bitter old gal.



Orpah is like "yeahhhh maybe you're right...see ya!" she head for the hills.



But dear sweet Ruth is determined to stay. We then get 1:16-17. Which is a lovely way of expressing your love for someone, I think.



And it is also a very hard thing to say to someone who has grown so bitter with life. Sometimes you do want to follow Orpah, to say "see ya sucka".



These are the energy suckers in our lives.



I had an aunt who did have a horrible life, like Naomi, she lost her child, lost her husband, lost her business...she was the most bitter person I have ever know. She was like a dementor (harry potter ref.) she sucked all the joy from the room, and I tended to want to avoid her, luckily my love for her was stronger than that desire. She died 2 years ago and think it was the happiest day of her life.



I digress



So Ruth and Naomi make it home. When they get there Naomi tells everyone to call her Mara, which means bitter. She isn't even trying to pretend shes alright. Ruth is told to go and glean the fields of a rich relative. Remember the rule about leaving the stuff that falls whilst harvesting for the poor? That's what I think shes doing. And well the rich guy tells the her to take from another field which is better. He also tells his men to not molester her (sweet!) and to leave a little extra, because she is taking such good care of Naomi.



Enter: Mr. Nice Guy



Naomi then has Ruth go and sleep at his feet so he will decide to marry her, even though she is a foreigner. (Which I fell is a littttle tricky, and we were having such a positve story time!) He's so nice that when he finds her there and she asks that he take her, as they are family, he tells her that there is a closer family member for her to marry.



After he tells her this, he has her stay the night anyway. And guess what? He doesn't have sex with her, wow! Right?! Yeah, he is Mr. Nice Guy



The other guy doesn't want her and so Mr. Nice Guy get to marry her and they have a son. And Naomi is his wet nurse. The son then becomes the father of Jesse who is the father of David.



So there we have it, The Book of Ruth.



Happy ending.



Peaceful.



Just good people doing what is right.



And not for any hidden agenda.



Very simply, for Love.