Sunday, September 20, 2009

1 King 17-19

We start with Elijah. God tells Eli to go hang out by a stream and drink the water, as for food.....raven will bring him some flesh every morning and every night....yumm. He stays there until the stream dries up. A drought has overtaken the land, you see. God says that he has spoken to a widow women in a nearby city who will feed him.

Eli heads to the city and low and behold there's a widow gathering sticks. ELi asks that she bring him water and food. She tells him that she doesn't really have enough. She has basically enough for one last meal for her and her son and then they're dead meat. Eli assures her that God has made sure she'll have enough.....and she does. Her meal and oil do not empty. After a few days her son dies and she blames dear Eli. So He goes up and lays on the kid and prays that he allow the soul to reenter the body....and he does

God tells Eli to go and see Ahab and he will end the drought. He finds him after he speaks with Obadiah (this WILL be my next animals name, I absolutely love the way it feels to say it). Obie has hidden priests in caves .

Eli and Ahab meet and each one blames the other for the current trouble in Israel. Eli tells Ahab to gather all the peeps at Mt. Carmel, the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of Asherah. They all show up and Eli says "what up with the teeter tottering betwixt the 2 gods, If the Lord is God follow him and if Baal is god then follow him, but for goodness sake MAKE up yo mind!"

So he devices a test to with everyone agrees. Lets get two bulls, cut em up and ask our gods to burn em up. Whose ever sends down fire is the winner. He also mentions that he is but one prophet, while they are 450. So he's technically already at a disadvantage (in there eyes, I'm sure).

Then it gets all ghetto. By noon the Baalites are all whooping and hollerin and Eli's all "yea, try yelling louder! maybe hes taken a vacation, maybe hes asleep"

At nightfall he had had enough. He tells them to all gather around and cuts up his bull, and drowns it with water, so there can be no doubt that it is Divine intervention apparently? He asks God to make his presence known and in no time the bull is well done. Everyone falls on the faces and praises God. ELi then lassos up all the prophets and slews them.

Then the skies open up and rain starts a fallin.

Ahab heads home and tells Jezebel all about the dead prophets and the bull bbq. She sends a message to Eli saying I'm gonna get you sucka. Eli heads to the wilderness and asks God to take him. An angel comes has Eli eat, telling him he must make a journey. He travels for 40 (really?) days on that one meal. He enters a cave and here I get crazy confused. God asks Eli why he is there, Eli says that he feels he is the only one left that still loves him. And because of that, they want to kill him. God tells him to go outside. He heads out and there is a strong wind....but that's not Him. Then an earthquake.....that's not Him. Then a fire........that's not him either. Then a soft whisper.....that's Him. Then they have the whole conversation again....verbatim. Could God not hear him in the cave? I'm going to step outside, I'm having a hard time getting a signal.

God then gives him some instructions about the new leadership. Hazael shall be king of Syria, and Jehu shall be king of Israel, and Elisha (name of the girl who slapped me at prom when I was a soph. because I went with her ex boyfriend), shall be the next prophet in Eli's place.

Whats happened to Jezebel??

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Funny, funny stuff.

Elijah is a super powerful man of God. He makes Moses look Busch league. Crystal remember what I told you about my printer ink and my lawn mower gas? For the rest of you I had printer ink that came in a printer I inherited last for 2 and half years. It just ran out a couple of weeks ago. I run a small business and have two printers. I have gone through two other printers and several ink cartridges in both since I got this printer. Amazing. Also, I typically have to buy gas for my lawn mower a few times during a season. This year, I am still using the same gas I bought in April! AND I have mowed my yard the same as I have for the last five years (with the same lawnmower)! So I can relate to the widow that fed Elijah and didn't run out of oil and meal. So let me give a shout out to Yaweh!

There was a show on Hist Chnl the other night that tried to explain how Elijah did the soaking the wood with water thing by using some refried limestone or something (the two combine to make fire), anyway, you'd have to see the show for me to tell you why it's nonsense.

Obadiah is a cool name. My brother just named his baby boy Elijah after our great great grandfather. Just in case any of you were interested.

Like the ghetto reference. Reminds me of White Men Can't Jump. Your momma so fat, she breaks her leg and gravy comes out.

The still small voice is THE key. Many times we look for God to do this big huge thing before we are willing to believe it's Him. This is just showing that that isn't always how He works. He speaks to us in a still small voice. We just have to be still and quiet enough to hear Him. I loved that part. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? God's in the all new infinite G network.

I think God was asking Elijah why he was in the cave or hiding because God was trying to make the point that when He's on our side we don't have to worry or be afraid. If our enemies come at us from one direction the Lord will cause them to scatter in seven different directions (Deut. 28:7). No weapon formed against us will prosper (Is. 54:17). So God was like, Is this thing on?