Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Judges 10-14

Hallelujah!!! He finally gets fed up with these people. But only for a moment...

Very strange story about the new leader, Jephthah. He takes the lead and goes to fight the Ammonites. He speaks to the Lord, making a vow that if He will give the Ammonites to his hand, then when he returns home he will give as a burnt offering whatever, or whomever comes from his door to greet him.

Strange

First, what could be the "whatever" that would "come forth from the doors"of his home? A cow? A goat?

Second, human sacrifice is sorta frowned upon. So why did he even suggest that he would bbq "whoever" comes forth from the doors

Guess who comes forth? Suppose you were writing a story, and you needed a VERY dramatic climax moment such as this. Who would you have come out?

His only child!! Who happened to be a GIRL!! Kill! Kill!

Now the notes at the bottom of the page want me to believe that all he did was send her into the mountains for 2 months and that her lifelong virginity was what he meant by "I will offer it or him up as a burnt offering" but I can hardly make that interpretation gel in my mind.

If he did, then doesn't that sorta makes vows we make to God, very very open for interpretation?

Which I don't mind, don't get me wrong. When I said "God if you just help me get to Key West and back safely, I will kill my dog Buster when we get back" I totally meant that I will never let him go in the front yard without a leash. So I'm good with this whole thing.

And then we have a bit of the same ole, same ole. A series of judges, and the Israelites fall into bad habits a gain.

The Angel of the Lord comes and tells a the wife of Manoah, who is barren that she will give birth to a child. (So put away the strong drank) This child will begin to lead Israel out of the hands of the Philistines. Where the Lord has put them because they are misbehaving.

And so was born Sampson

And a weird riddle.

2 comments:

Jamie said...

First of all, you read too far, nerd. I've never seen numbers fail to stick into a math teachers head so miserably, butttt....

As I was reading about Jephthah's vow I was thinking the same thing...like, what do you think is gonna come out of your door? Maybe he thought'd be his wife and thought it'd be a brilliant way to get out of paying alimony. Let me take exception to your rather thin inclusion of the notes. What you described was only one position laid out in the notes, and it was clearly not an attempt to get you to believe the position you said it was. The other position was the one it was advocating...and that was, Jephthah was part Canaanite, and we all know that part of the reason God was giving this particular land to the Israelites was because of the abominal things the Canaanites were doing, like human sacrifice. The most clear, and accurate line in the notes was thus, "..there is but too much reason to conclude that he[Jephthah] was impelled to the fulfillment by the dictates of A PIOUS BUT UNENLIGHTENED CONSCIENCE". It goes on to say that "the fact that the maidens mourned her virginity and not her death seems to prove that she did not die." I think he did kill her. I don't think that last sentences necessarily mean she didn't. They could be mourning the fact that she died a virgin. Maybe that's what is meant by "mourned her virginity". I think him being a Canaanite, and being pious, yet unenlightened, probably means he did sacrifice her. Alright, I think that horse is glue.

I can't believe you didn't mention anything about Jephthah smoting other Israelites. 42,000! And what about all of the donkey colt riding? Didn't they have horses? And wouldn't you rather ride a horse than a donkey? Personal preference I guess, but I find it odd.

We see the rise of the Philistines. There's gonna be a lot of Phil smiting in the chapters and books to come.

I forgot the other part I found odd and disconcerting, like the Israelites' promise to Joshua to be good (yeah right), was the vow they made to Jephthah to let him be their leader once he laid the smack down on the Ammonites. Why would anyone believe them?

The Angel of the Lord (Jesus) tells Samsons mom she's gonna conceive, and to not drink alcohol or unclean stuff. Sounds about right, right? Except for I don't think they knew about fetal alcohol syndrome back then. Another example of Divine knowledge. How else could it be explained? There is no other. After all, wine was a part of their everyday diet then. And a less serious note, what did He mean by no unclean food? Could it have been tuna and soft serve ice cream? Both of which are dangerous to pregnant woman and the PEOPLE inside of them. One of those things that make Arsenio Hall go, "Hmmmm." Must have been important, cause He told her thrice.

And are you starting to get the sense that God doesn't like our food? I mean everytime it's offered, He has them burn it on a rock. He's all about the fragrance. Of course, that too, is interesting since we know that most of our "taste" is actually smell. In vs. 19 we see that Manoah and his wife got dinner and a show, cause the Angel of the Lord was working wonders. Brilliant! Then the Angel of the Lord (hence A o L, aka Jesus) disappeared into the flame. What an exit! When is someone gonna say ta-da? Maybe God thinks that's just too Busch League.

Jamie said...

And you didn't even bring up the sensible wife thing in vs. 23! The last several chapers we have all of these smart, courageous, strong, and sensible women showing up the guys and you're not even giving props (slang for proper respect). You're not much of a feminist.

And what's with the menu? I mean the Israelites have been offering the same things for hundreds of years now? I mean can I get a big salad on the side or maybe an onion blossom? How 'bout some hot wings with my cereal offering? With blue cheese or ranch? Tater skins? And some French Silk or Key Lime pie? How would you like to have a bottle (or skin) of that wine, today? Excuse me, waiter, what year is this wine? I believe it's a 1,000 BC, ma'am. Mmmm, good year. What that a year of Jubilee? I'm sorry, madame, I'm sure I don't know. Either way, it's brilliant! I know, I'm in rare form today.

I have to admit, that sometimes when I read about all of these battles, and the Angel of the Lord standing with His sword drawn, I sometimes think of the movie Michael, where John Travolta is standing in the field in front of the bull, and yells, "BATTLE!".

Tomorrow Judg. 14-16