ok ok ok, they aren't actual necrophiliacs, but really why are so many people touching dead bodies that we need an actual rule that says "don't hang out with the dead".
Some more rules about wronging people, confessing to it and making amends. You must add 1/5 to what you took and give it all to the person you wronged. Consequences for you actions, this is a good thing. Repercussions, yes, yes. Atonement, not bad.
I'm thinking that this Numbers book ain't that bad.....
Wait....what is this....thighs falling away?, bodies swelling?... Man just when I thought we were on the right track. Everyone was counted, the oozing freaks had been sent out to pasture, everyone had a job, if you wronged someone you had to sensibly atone....
Alas however, we do have a bit of craziness. Here's the way it goes:
A. a woman goes astray, or doesn't, but the husband things she MIGHT have and feels jealous and suspicious
B.the husband takes her to the priest and gives a cereal offering of jealousy and suspicion
C. the priest brings her before the Lord
D.He makes a holy water and tabernacle floor dust cocktail for her to drink
E. The priest makes the woman take her hair down and say an oath
F. She then is to drink the holy water, tabernacle floor dust cocktail. If she is guilty then the water shall enter her bowels and maker her thigh fall away and her body swell?
G. If she is innocent, it shan't happen.
H. burn the cereal, yadda, yadda, yadda
.........so, yeah, that was weird
God then gives all the tribes and leaders their "stuff". He gives everybody the exact same stuff. I'm going to guess that this signifies that we are all born with the tools we need for life, or stuff so to speak. What we choose to do with that stuff, is up to us. Which to some extent is true.The vow of a Nazirite from the best I can tell is like a special, distinct person who goes just a little further to please dear ol' Lord.
These people had to follow certain rules, first and foremost: NO RAISINS!
They took a very strong anti-grape platform. No wine, no grapes at all, be it in juice or pill form. I do not kid here folks....no grape seeds. Have you ever accidentally bitten into a grape seed? I get goosebumps just thinking about it. Basically if you even looked at a grape vine, you were screwed.
Also no hair cutting, no strong drank, no dead bodies (Yes. Again). I know what you're probably thinking, because its what immediately popped into my head:
"What if I'm just hanging out with my boyz and Zebabdiah just outta nowhere, falls out dead? I didn't PLAN to hang out with a dead guy, it just sorta ended up that way."
And to you the Bible says.....go get that razor, your hair is comin off.
Now we come to the Levites. We should all thank the Levites. God takes the Levites in lew of everybody's first born, to which I say "Thank you, sir"
Now we come to the Levites. We should all thank the Levites. God takes the Levites in lew of everybody's first born, to which I say "Thank you, sir"
The Levites get a pretty good deal though. They have to serve at the Tent of Meeting from ages 25 to 50 and then besides a little helping out here and there, they're good. Because, these people live for like 150 yrs I'm going to say that's a heck of a deal.
8 comments:
No comment really. I think you said everything I was going to bring up.
Btw, you're totally right on the retirment gig. I mean why don't we figure out what kind of social security plan they had and implement that here. 100 years of retirement! That's a lot of fishing folks. And with no Wal-Mart to work part time at as a greeter, they HAD to take up fishing.
There is one thing I don't think we've mentioned...all this giving stuff for atonement...I don't think it's been clear, but the person who gives all of this stuff and some gets burned, some get eaten by the priests, but most of it actually goes back to the person who gave it.
Next, Lev. 9-13, we're getting close to Battles BC.
Paid retirement is a form of socialism.
I like how the priests would communicate all these demands from God, regarding restitution and compensation and how God specifically wanted them to accept it on his behalf.
That's how I'd ask god-fearing peoples to give me rams, and coin and offering....on God's behalf.
isnt that what these crazy tv preachers do? Ask for money on God's behalf? Who's to say he isn't speaking to them too?
Rational intelligent human beings, with the ability to use deductive reasoning, that's who.
What I mean is that if you believe one, don't you have to believe the other?
I'm saying that the priests/preachers who ask for money are doing it under false pretenses, completely dishonestly.
They know they are lying about who is architecting their requests for money, power, sex, subservience. It's greed and self-serving and time and time again we've seen it be proven out.
Do you think there are any out there that are genuine? There have to be good people out there wanting to do good things. They can't all be dishonest, right?
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